What I Learned My First Year Of Being Married
My name is Linda Hurd and on December 20th, 2013 I married the man who changed my forever. I quickly dropped from my maiden name Linda Patrick to Linda Hurd. Here is just a little of my backstory before I give you what I learned. I hope you don't mind at all. Here it goes: I signed my marriage certificate for better or for worse, and I was only 20 years old. He was 24 and there was no turning back. My husband, Bruce and I were married in the city of Gretna, Louisiana at a local court house (justice of the peace style.)
We had only his father and another married couple as our witnesses. My family wasn't able to attend due to personal circumstances that were truly understandable. Bruce and I were together for three years before we gotten engaged. I was just a country girl from a very small town in Louisiana called Assumption Parish on the what was then (the New Orleans Raven Party Line at the right time) basically....I met my now husband on the party line and our then friendship slowly blossomed into love. Reality soon set in the very first year of being married. Nobody warned me or my Bruce they just prayed that we would survive the first crazy and mind blowing year of being married. Listen To Me Talk Audible Here
(Photos from that day.)
You Trade In The "ME'S" for "WE'S"
I think that we struggled with this the first three months of being married a whole lot. I learned that I couldn't just think that I was going to make solid decisions for myself any more. Like for example; Leaving whatever my current job for a job that I thought was going to be a better fix for me. I learned then, that if I was going to make any financial decision that my husband and I both as a team had to talk about the outcome of the decision and would it be a beneficial idea to follow through it.
Keep Any And Everybody Out Of Ya'll Business
Of course, you most likely knew this when you and your spouse were still taking things to the next level. Once you get married and you and your spouse have a huge argument you will want to call someone to confide in about how much your husband or wife had pissed you off. (It happens Trust Me.) The first year of marriage can really be hell on Earth for some folks especially when they turn to so-called listening ears for advice; this includes family members, friends, and co-workers. If and when you and your spouse have any disagreement or fight TALK IT OUT! Don't talk it out the way you should to your mama or lil' sister/brother talk it out to the person it is about and that is your spouse.
Remember Why You Got Married
There will be days that you will want to just say that you are done, but this is when you have to remember why you got married. For me, the main reason I got married was to glorify God with the man that he ordain me to be with. I wanted to no longer be 'shacking up' with the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I wanted my marriage to be built on a strong foundation of Christ, and for better and for worst. I cried so much my first year of being married and found myself screaming, "Why did I even get married?" I pondered on the thought as the answer came to mind. I was going to live out my vows and make it work.
You Never Stop Dating
During the first year of being married, I worked a part-time job. I had and wanted to make time to incorporate as much date nights as possible. It was the simple things that mattered, and they still do. I took pride in creating a nice full-course soul food meal for us to enjoy. I took pride in having movie nights, going church on a Sunday morning, picking out each other's outfits, and weekend chill times. During the first year, spending that quality time keeps things fresh! Plan and never stop dating!
Save, Stack, & Spend Wisely
The old folks will tell you better than what I can tell you boo. Build your credit up the right way and do not be careless with your money. Don't live out of your means trying to keep up with this couple and that couple. Y'all not them and the money that you and your spouse have shouldn't be use as a flaunt ticket. (We will talk about this later on in the weeks.) The first year of saving money as a married couple will be crucial. Believe it or not, but many married couples fight over money and their expenses. Stacking money can be quoted in many rap songs, but in your first year as being Newlyweds it will be a trait to adpate and stick with. Spend wisely and don't become the spouse that has the most trouble saving money, because of your spending habits. Have a sit down with your spouse once or twice a month about strategies you guys will use to stay afloat.
What did you learn your first year of being married? What are you learning now? Let's talk below!
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Photo from: Glamour.com