Finding a dude that’s worth your damn time does not have to be a headache. The problem is that once you seek out a great guy with the qualities to match most times, some things go unnoticed. Getting caught up in the moment or like Anita Baker sings about, “Being caught up in the Rapture of Love” can sometimes sneak up on you.

 However, what happens when you meet a guy who only wants to conversant, chill, or text you whenever he gets ready? Basically, you are only an option for him when it is convenient for him. There is no longer the kissy face and heart eyed emoji’s being shared. He no longer seems to truly care what you up to. Here goes my advice on what to do and what needs to be done. 



Expect the Unexpected

Not everyone dude that you meet in a lifetime will share the same characteristics or personality traits. You cannot try to pick out the traits in a man that you are digging and except for those traits to overpower his real actions. 

If a man is going to converse with you to pass time before his girlfriend of over five years gets home from work, then that’s what the hell he shall do. 

He has already marked you off in his mind and in his phone, as “that girl who I talk to.” Therefore, you will become nothing more or anything less, because the respect level isn’t validated. 

You should let a man know what you would like to have come from having a connection. If you are too shy to speak up for yourself and your heart, then you should take time to better developed yourself mentally before trying to discover love. By not expecting for a guy to text you a good morning and good night text every day, you are already ahead of the game. 

He’s Taking Your Quietness for a Weakness 

A close mouth damn sho’ does not get fed! You must speak up and let him know how you feel. Please don’t call yourself trying to check him and start an argument behind it. 

If you choose to be quiet about his actions that are clearly bothering, you (hints as to why you are probably reading this) then you need to step it up. 

Become bold and stop biting your tongue or blushing whenever he does come around and forgetting the silent issue. He will never know how it makes you feel if you constantly think that it will get better before it gets worse. 


Keep It to Yourself & Not Everybody Else 

If you are the type that likes to have something to talk about to all your friends when it comes to your relationship and situationship woes, then I am here to tell you to hush it up. If you are starting to feel like the dude you are talking to is curving you then keep it to yourself, write that shit down, and burn that piece of paper.

 Most times, telling people all your business when it comes to your love interest can discouraging and lead you into a lot of unnecessary thinking, bitching, and blaming yourself for being stupid. Keep it between you and him instead of you, him, and everybody else who wants to be nosey. 


You Never Was His Only Interest to Begin With 

Of course, we all have choices on who we want to talk to and spend time with. If you are starting to feel like the guy who once couldn’t stop checking up on you is growing distant, then you probably were not his only interest to being with. 

People grow apart and outgrow people, and some faster than others. He could have been very interested in working, going to school, traveling, and even his family! Don’t overthink the possibilities and just gradually let him go. He is not worth the stress nor the frustrations. 


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