I Can't Tell You The Last Time I Had a Drink | Confession



When you make the transition from being a country girl to a city girl your views truly change. Where I am from drinking beer, wine coolers, and daiquiris are the way to go if you are celebrating or just whining down. 

When I made the move to the outskirts of New Orleans from living in Assumption Parish I experience the views of an onlooker would during Mardi Gras season. 


It was mind blowing and I felt like it was almost compelling to join into the fun. The alcoholic drink selection was and still is lit. I used to walk down Bourbon and Canal Street with my Hand Grenade two-stepping. 

You see when I was living in a small town I didn’t experience the ‘turn-up’ like some people do and did. I stayed to myself and occasionally went to parties when I was in high school. Plus, I didn’t have a car nor anyone I was cool enough with anyone that I could truly trust to ride out with and have a girls’ night in a club or bar. 

So just imagine how I felt when I moved close enough to the city of New Orleans to live! My fiancé at the time use to drink and smoke a lil weed with his friends before he ceased all that. We used to go to the city whenever we could at least once a weekend about three or four years ago for a date night and night out in the city.

I used to get buck while getting dress to head out too. I would be practicing my booty pooping in our bathroom mirror while dancing to some bounce music. The tipsy nights in the city fizzled out quickly  when I realized that I did not like the man my fiancé was whenever he was buzzed off that liquor real quick. 

My fiancé couldn’t handle my super giggly and emotional buzzed ass either. We became the total opposite of who we were when went out there on Bourbon period. Even though my man was sober enough to drive us home for the night, while still buzzed our arguments lasted all the way home and sometimes until noon the next day.

Plus, not to mention we use to fight in front total strangers in the streets while walking back to our parked car.

You’re damn right to blame it on the alcohol baaaby! 

We both made drastic changes, but it took time. I can visually remember coming home from work when I was working at RaceTrac and pouring myself a glass of wine. It could have been around 3 or 4 in the afternoon and by 6 o clock baby I was glassy eyed and emotional. 


Now look you can laugh all you want, but I use to be hella emotional after the right amount of wine. I used to start talking about how far I came in life and how I feel like I am not good enough and blah blah blah!  I was using the wine as my escape to be able to freely vent my issues and life away to whoever would listen. 

Of course, that would sometimes spark an argument with my husband at the time too. I could not keep living that life any more. The taste of a damn good wine would send me to paradise after the first glass. I knew that I wasn’t living how I wanted to live.

My financial situation was hurting me, my marriage was going to sh*t, and most of all my spirit was uneasy. How could a sip of wine calm me down more than praying?

I wasn’t a true alcoholic by far, but I sure was getting there. No one knew, but my husband and he was fighting his own demons. I was still in a place of pain and only God could get me through it. 

The change came when I choose to start pouring out my bottle of wine and wine cooler stash from my fridge into the kitchen sink. It also was not as tough as I thought it would have been either. I guess because I kept telling myself that I could always go out and get more is what made me pour it out too. Also dumping out the wine made me think clearer. How could I be this young woman of God while sipping my issues away in life with wine? 

I was a lush for daiquiris at first then it turned to wine. It wasn’t helping me or taking me physically away from any of my issues. I was faking my happiness in real life too and I couldn’t live with damn self. 

I just wanted you to know that it has been years since I have had a glass or a styrofoam cup filled with any alcoholic beverage. I can not tell you the last time that I have had a drink. It’s a beautiful feeling too!

Share your thoughts or when you had your last drink below. 

BLOGMAS DAY 15

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