SOCIAL MEDIA

Monday, May 20, 2019

How To Handle Envy Within A Friendship

Developing true and honest friendships is something that many people enjoy! It’s something nice about surrounding ourselves with people of similar ambitions, hobbies, lifestyles or relationship statuses. Many of us love having friendships with people that we admire, learn from, and even challenging us to level up in life.




Thoughts of comparison may inevitably creep in. We can easily start playing the comparison game. We can talk ourselves into depression or low-self-esteem just from comparing our lives to our close friend(s.)

We can measure ourselves and hold ourselves to petty expectations that often go unmet. Jealousy, bitterness, and resentment just need a little hate to thrive in our hearts and minds.

Being envious of your friend or friends can severely stunt the growth of full and thriving friendships.

Jealousy in friendships can be formed in various ways. Maybe a friend was proposed to by her significant other. Or a friend launched her first business and now can work from home. Maybe a friend has just purchased her first home. Or she always seems to be blessed with all sorts of great opportunities. I can keep going but I won’t.

Is it possible to channel the feeling of envy or jealousy into something more positive and productive?

Maintaining healthy friendships can inspire us to become the best versions of ourselves. Here are a few things we can do too whenever feelings of jealousy or envy come about. Let’s learn to celebrate our friend’s successes and maintain our own self-confidence without any self-doubt.

Celebrate and appreciate their journey.

Remember that celebrating and appreciating your friend’s success won’t take away from yours. It’s also essential to know that a friend’s journey is uniquely his or hers to embrace. Their journey in this life is not our own.
 Our friends deserve our support and encouragement just as we need theirs.

Our shortcomings should not come as a reminder because of a friend’s success. We can allow other accomplishments to enlighten and inspire us to keep striving towards our own. Celebrating our friends is a part of appreciating them and their journey. To experience and to share their joy are positive responses that we must do to prevent any negative or toxic vibes from happening.

Become more self-aware.

The closer you get to discovering and accomplishing your own sense of purpose in life, the less space you will have for jealousy in your friendships. The freedom that comes from releasing jealousy, embracing your own journey and reaching for your dreams can be contagious.

When you’re thriving, you have more capacity to help others thrive around you. The more we step further and further into what we’re uniquely meant to do. More understanding and love create less space for relationship killers like jealousy, pride, arrogance and comparison to set in.

Remember why you became friends

Take the time to reflect on the qualities he or she had that intrigued you to become friends in the beginning. We often gravitate toward people who may embody certain characteristics and qualities we lack. We also gravitate towards individuals who have new and different perspectives to offer. Plus, the same is true with why they may have gravitated towards you.

For example, your friend has received a new job offer that will highlight her strengths, or perhaps your friend is excited to move for a job opportunity, recognize that those very things are her blessings. You both have so much to celebrate for one another. You never know who or how your friend admires you.

Have a heart to heart conversation in person

It takes strength and vulnerability to break down those barriers of jealousy and pride. When we release any negative emotions and feelings freely move forward. During the heart to heart conversation, ask questions and be open to listening to their responses without speaking over them. Remember to be mindful that your intent is, to be honest.

Reflect and ask yourself questions

The next time you may feel jealousy creeping in, ask yourself: “Why do I keep feeling like this about my friend?” You can write it down or even record yourself venting your thoughts on a voice memo on your phone. Keep it real with yourself and reflect on your emotions. You may learn more about yourself and how you view your current self-esteem and self-worth!

Share your thoughts below! I would love to talk to you.

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