Last Friday night, I went out & folks wanted me to paint the town red! Ha ha! However, it was not nothing major too major. I had an all dark pink two piece set on, titties sitting at attention, black and gold flats, and of course I had a nice gloss on my lips.
My face had a fresh natural beat and my perfume that was sprayed on the hot points of my body was speaking in tongues for me. I stepped out for some much-needed R&B vibes to remind myself that I also get out other than when it’s a rotating weekending to not have my kids.
Hell, since I didn’t know then and still cannot tell you now. When I am going to have a kid-free weekend I am stepping out on a night when I can and this started last week. While I was out, a few women stopped me because they knew who I was from the internet. I also with two of the lady bartenders. I then went to a local ratchet but secured spot. I posted my IG story then I had a DM from someone that said, “Girl, I live through you! I wish I was out too, but I’m stuck in the house with these kids.”
That stuck with me.
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard something like that, but for some reason, it hit differently this time. I realized something that night: people really are watching. Not just scrolling past. Not just tapping "like." They’re watching, comparing, and sometimes even projecting. It felt good to finally be outside for myself, but I had no idea that my outing was also for other mom's who cannnot or couldn't get outside. I
Throughout the years, since when I have had folks assume I'm
broke. Some assume I'm a miserable single mother whose always in her apartment.
Others think I’m dating or screwing somebody new every month. The truth? I’m
just living. And I’ve learned the hard way that the less people know, the
more peace I have.
Social media can make people froggy asf behind a screen and nosy in silence. A post here, a story there then suddenly, people think they have your whole life figured out. But the kicker is: what they say, think, or assume? That’s none of my business.
It’s wild how some people will watch you down on social media
and swear they don’t like yo’ ass, but will remember everything you wore,
everywhere you went, and who you might be messin’ with. Some people are genuinely
inspired, some are secretly envious, and others are silently competing. Either
way, they’re living through you.
Plus, the kicker is that some people do not live through you
in a positive way.
Sometimes, people are using your joy to measure what they’re missing. Your freedom becomes their frustration. Your night out becomes their moment of “must be nice.” Let me add this, while I won’t apologize for enjoying my life, I’ve learned that not everything needs to be shared. I am grand for knowing what I would like to share to stir the pot or to thicken it.
I do not think at my grown age I am scared to post on any social media platform. It’s about being selective. I’ve started posting less, saying less, and leaving more to the imagination. That doesn’t mean I’m still not living, laughing, or growing. What this means is that I post whatever, however and whenever.
Let people assume. Let them share the post, baby. I’m not
feeding the narratives they create. I am doing my own thing while creating a
life that feels good when I’m not posting.
Final Thoughts
When you understand that your life is not a reality show thing
flow better. You don’t owe the world an explanation, an update, or proof that
you’re doing okay. The people who sometimes care will check in, not just check
your story.
So, the next time you’re tempted to overshare, remember:
The people watching you are either silently rooting for you, silently
judging you, or silently competing with you. Continue to live your life for
you and not for their commentary.
Look, real peace is experienced once you realize you have
nothing to prove to people who only know the IG reel, TikTok, or even Facebook
post of your life.
And when they ask, “What happened to you? You don’t post like
you used to…”
Just smile and say, “I’ve been too busy living life abundantly.”
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