As a woman, I understand how easily we can get called and labeled emotional, especially during that time of the month when our cycle comes on. However, when it comes to being emotionally unavailable it can present itself in a slew of different ways.

Sometimes a woman can be displaying clear traits of being emotionally unavailable and would not even be aware. Here’s what you can do while you’re getting to know someone while dating, pay close attention to how they talk about themselves: Does he or she seem comfortable with going beyond surface-level conversation? Do they talk about personal details of their lives, their childhood, and their dreams? Or do they give vague answers and move on to less intimate topics? 

Evasiveness is one of the biggest signs of an emotionally unavailable person. Similarly, if they seem cold or uninterested in learning about what makes your pet peeves and interests, they might not be in a place where they can relate to others on an intimate level right now. The red flags of someone being emotionally unavailable will demonstrate to you while dating someone who has big walls up all indicate emotional unavailability—and take it as a sign you should not dwell on trying to fix the connection ASAP.

It’s essential to establish boundaries with people early on while getting to know them. Being emotionally available does not mean one is willing to easily lay tell their life story immediately on cue. It is more about not feeling as if one must shield every part of their life because they are afraid of getting hurt in any way. Wearing one’s heart on their sleeve is not a given characteristic of emotional availability.

One is just mature in knowing what they want out of life and a partner, they understand and value the time they invest in getting to know someone and vice versa, and they are eager yet patient in getting to know the person and the type of relationship they are willing to work towards. People that are emotionally available are rare to find. In the cesspool of dating many people are not willing to be themselves. Being one’s true self is quite the adventure some are not willing to partake in going on. However, one should not force a connection that the other is displaying mixed signals towards. 

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