My younger sister called me out of the blue and said she was at Target in Baton Rouge buying school supplies and wanted to stop by with our mama. The whole thing felt strange as hell. They do not live that far away. So, part of me kept wondering why it took a trip to Target for them to finally come out here. I honestly did not know what to think. It was one of those wow, got-damn moments. It was almost like a mind fuck, because I was happy, shocked, confused, and irritated all at once.

my mama and her grandkids

One of the hardest lessons I learned from being a stay-at-home wife and mother of two was how quietly dependence can turn into codependency. Staying home to raise my children was real work. There was somewhere along the way I stopped feeling like an equal partner. 

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For years, I thought a productive day meant checking every box, answering every message, keeping everybody happy, and somehow making it home with enough energy to prepare for tomorrow. You know what I am talking about the kind of schedule that makes your plans place on your calendar look like money and one of your eyes start twitching by 2:00 p.m.

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I knew I was done when asking for a second date started feeling like I was begging for basic effort.

Not groceries. Not money. Not a grand romantic gesture. I am talking about a day, time, a plan, and enough intention to show me I was not the only one trying to keep the connection alive.

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