What's scarier than Halloween? A man spinning the block just to have sex with a woman he used to deal with! BABY, THAT'S SPOOKY ASF! It is always a good time to look at the concerning rates of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) right here in Louisiana and in our neighboring cities. Some of these men are not coming back because they miss you, love you, or suddenly realized your worth. They are coming back because they want access to what they used to have without offering anything different! 

These last few months of being 33 feel like the soft launch of a whole new version of me. This is not because I woke up one morning and decided to become somebody else. It is because I finally stopped playing small with the woman, I have worked my ass off to become. This rebrand is personal. It is intentional. It is me looking at every part of myself and saying, “Yeah, keep that, elevate this, and throw the rest of that tired ass shit away.”

The 13^th gates have nothing on this. If you really want to see fear in a grown person’s eyes who lives alone, let them open the banking app after paying rent or mortgage. Hold up. What if it they did that after buying groceries, filling up the car, and handling one little “unexpected” bill that somehow costs exactly what was left in the account. Nothing jumps out from behind a door. However, that available balance will still make you scream.

Listen, Halloween can keep ghosts, goblins, and creepy crawlers in night. At this big grown age, I know the real scares come with a due date. Maybe a warning light, a school message sent at 9:47 p.m., or a grocery receipt long enough to qualify as a novella.