After seven months post-divorce, I am filled with excitement and growth as I find myself. During this transition, I have been learning more about who I am. This newfound understanding has led to a greater appreciation for life and an openness to explore new paths.
My journey has been one of self-discovery and personal development as I learn how to navigate my life without the limitations that come with being in a marriage. With every challenge comes a chance for growth. I am grateful for the lessons that this experience has brought me.
I am embracing my newfound freedom with enthusiasm and optimism, looking forward to all the exciting possibilities ahead. Life is full of surprises, and I can not wait to see what else is in store now that I have taken steps toward finding myself again!
I am thrilled to be going on a more in-depth experience of my independence this year. It has been a blessing to have a great friend who has been supportive of my journey and has given me a place to stay with my two kids. The time has now come to step out on faith and live on my own. I have been working from home. Stacking my money. Staying out the way.
As well as remaining shielded in prayer. When people ask me about dating, I tell them that it is what you make it. If dating feels exhausting or time-consuming my suggestion has been to step away from it. Always keeping the primary focus on you and your mental health is crucial. I have always enjoyed my own company. Growing within my own being has been quite the experience.
These few months have shown me how to take myself out of my own comfort zone. I have challenged my own peak. I remember how afraid I was earlier last year to drive a car even after having my driver’s license for over 4 years. My friend poured into me when I thought that learning how to drive again would be a crippling fear of mine. I was never in a car accident. I was mentally conditioned while being a wife that I was not trusted behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.
My twenties. My years being a wife sheltered me and placed me in a state of overbearing codependency on my spouse, which tried to ruin my mental health. However, I am still here.
I am thriving. Successfully, placed my son in Pre-K and speech therapy. Believed in my ability to parent my special needs son alone. I asked for the help that it required to parent and advocated for both of my children's needs. My daughter is going to daycare full-time. With her, I have helped and nurtured her ability to learn, walk, and talk.
I have also been creating a balance between working a full-time job. I have found another place to stay. A place to call my own. I can save money, budget effectively, and work towards obtaining my first vehicle. My credit is stable, and I am building it. I do not live beyond my means. I live in the present day. Savoring the moment of this new decade. Savoring the lessons of this journey.
Loving yourself wholeheartedly brings about a newfound respect for your time and energy. After sharing so much of my co-parenting journey online and in video form I have learned about my tolerance for disrespect. I took too much on the chin. I took too much personally when it personally did not have anything to do with me. I have learned to cease reminding my ex-husband that the kids deserve to spend more time with him.
I have learned to let things be. I have placed a lot of my childhood scares of being raised by a single mother without a father figure onto my kids. I had to cease doing that. I was arguing and fighting for the little girl I once was who had no father figure guidance. I was fighting for the little girl who was a fatherless child. Remembering every week that even though my kids just see me that they have a father. It is not nor is it no longer my fight to force their father to be more active beyond the visitation granted by the courts.
All I am here to do is to be the present mother. The mother that shows up. The mother that pours. The mother that loves unconditionally. Before being a mother I am Linda. Linda deserves love. Linda has boundaries. Linda cannot reflect on her childhood wounds in a matter that she sees her kids.
These are my feelings and thoughts as I write this post and go through what I have been through. Things to remember are that everyone's experience during their first year of divorce is different. We express our truths in the matter seen fit and others may compress their truth. I thank God for another month of lessons learned post-divorce.
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