There is no need to sink into January begging God to shift everything for you. For me I am not entering this year in a hopeful or fragile way. I am entering it rooted. Steady. Clear. For you, my reader She’s Found Strength is not only a blog title anymore. My blog is a lived experience. This year does not begin with resolutions scribbled down in pencil. It begins with boundaries written in ink.
In my twenties, I used to start new year’s exhausted from surviving the last one. I was emotionally depleted. I was over-explaining, giving, and extending myself to people who never planned to meet me halfway.
As I reflect, strength, back then,
presented itself as endurance. I was used to staying. Tolerating. Pushing
through. However, strength evolves. In my thirties, strength is looking a lot like
discernment with silence. In my thirties, I am walking away without a speech.
Strength these days is about choosing peace even when chaos adds a little
razzle dazzle to the plot at times.
As I am
going into the third chapter of my thirties, I am not romanticizing struggle. I
will not allow myself to become a product of my surroundings. I will be
honoring consistency. I am honoring the sometimes-overlooked discipline of
showing up for myself daily. I have learned that healing does not feel poetic
every time or comes as a hug of warm embrace. Healing can feel questionable.
Repetitive. Lonely. However, that is where real blossoming happens. The change
takes place in the mundane routines that rebuild your self-trust and commitment
at the same time.
Nowadays,
I realize that strength is also about honoring my intuition. I am learning how
to set boundaries that protect my well-being. These days are no longer about
proving my worth to others. Instead of that I am focused on nurturing myself in
many ways while embracing the quiet confidence that comes with self-respect.
My blog is coming into this year with intention and calmness. I am no longer rushing to explain myself or my boundaries. I am hiding my truth for the sake of others’ opinions. Now, I understand that true peace is quiet. True peace does not need validation. Once, I believed that true strength was about being constantly emotionally available. I thought it meant being always open, receptive, and forgiving.
Now, I understand that
access to my emotions is a privilege. Having access to my emotions is not
something automatic. This year, I have guarded my energy. I have learned how to
better budget my time. I have also learned how to enforce boundaries for my
presence. These changes are not signs of coldness. These are signs that reflect
self-respect.
You know, I have realized that I do not have to choose between being a mom, having dreams that keep me awake most nights, enjoying my own company, or taking care of myself. I can now see how they all fit together now. I am also not sorry about it. I used to think I had to give up one thing to honor another. However, that is not true by a long shot. I can be caring but still know how to give a flying f*%k.
I can be gentle and strong at the same time. I can want romance but also
speak my mind on how I want to create teachable moments on how to love me. I
want love in my life. However, that does not mean putting up with disrespect
and piss poor communication. I believe if I want more out of life, I do not owe
anyone an explanation for why I deserve it.
Honestly,
as we go deeper into this year, I want you to know that She’s Found Strength is
still going to be that real, safe space for us. This is not about putting on a
show or pretending we have it all together. Here, we can talk about healing
without making it sound pretty or easy. We are going to celebrate setting
boundaries. We are not going to mix up being feminine with losing ourselves
just to keep someone else happy. Plus, you know what? If you need to start
over, that is not a failure! It is clarity. Clarity that is finally catching up
with your courage. That is the energy I’m bringing. I am letting you know that you
are always welcome here with me.
Listen,
I’m not stepping into this year with something to prove to any damn body. I am here
to protect what truly matters. What is that? What manners? Well, my peace, my
kids’ sense of security, my creativity, my voice, and the future I am building.
The bravest thing I’ve learned. It would be how to choose myself constantly
without feeling guilty. Even when it is uncomfortable. Even when it gets lonely.
Whew! Especially then, cause some of these nights have yo’ girl rocking back
and forth on the sofa replaying the craziest of memories.
So, if you
are coming into this year feeling a little worn out, but a whole lot wiser…feelin’
like you are ready to love, but way too good at goodbyes… maybe speaking less,
but realizing your power? You belong here. You are not late. You are not
broken. You are growing! You are blossoming right here with me. Therefore, in
case you need to want to read it, “The fact that you are still standing, still
giving it your all, still reaching for better? That is real strength. You have
embraced it. You discovered it right when you needed it most.
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