Let me say this plain, I am not broke in my mind, my spirit, or with my vision. I may be in a season where I must stretch, sacrifice, and move much more carefully. However, that is not the same thing as being stuck in a broke mindset. It means I am rebuilding.
It means life hit hard, and instead of folding, I got my hands dirty. It means that I also started putting the pieces back together no matter how much time it took.
A lot of women out here in their 30s are carrying way more than people ever speak on. Paying rent or mortgage by themselves. Raising kids with little to no tribe. Going to work tired as hell. Smiling through situations that would break most people. Even still trying to heal while life keeps demanding more. That kind of weight will make you question yourself if you let it. Let me tell you, my baby, that is not failure. That is survival. That is strength with bruising on it.
Social media will have some people thinking everybody else is living soft, private, exciting lives while you are somewhere in the background fighting to keep your head above water. Folks are posting trips, rings, new houses, and flourishing business ventures. Meanwhile, the whole time you are rebuilding your money, peace, confidence, career, the meaning of what motherhood looks like to you, and your sanity. That kind of rebuilding does not always look photo worthy, but that does not mean it is not powerful.
Some nights, I am up late trying to make sure I am set for the morning ahead. Some mornings, I wake up already tired. I have been already carrying the day before the day even starts. Plus real talk, that can mess with your head if you let it. But I learned that being in a challenging chapter financially does not mean I think small, live small, or see myself as small.
I still know who I am. I am aware of what I am building. I still believe better is coming, even if right now it looks like hustle, prayer, discipline, and doing without.
See, some people hear “I am struggling” and assume that means you are begging, lazy, or behind.
Nah.
Sometimes it just means you are in the middle of rebuilding after heartbreak, bad decisions, disappointment, burnout, depression, or years of pouring into everybody else and leaving yourself empty. Sometimes rebuilding looks like paying bills before pleasure.
It can look like staying single so you can heal for real, taking classes while raising kids, budgeting every dollar, crying when you get a chance to be alone, and still getting up to handle business the next morning. That is not weakness.
So, if you are reading this and you have been judging yourself because life does not look expensive yet. Understand me like a homegirl sitting across from you at the table; do not confuse your current circumstances with your identity.
You are not your bank balance. You are not the apartment. The setbacks. The survival season. The lessons you had to learn to level up. You are the person who kept going. You are the one laying the foundation and still finding a way to love your people, keep your faith, and push forward with determination.
One day this season is going to be part of the story you tell, not the place you stay. When the peace, money, stability, and softness finally meet you on the other side, will you remember that even in your hardest season, you were never broke in spirit, only in the middle of becoming?
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