Moving Foward | Spilled Ink Pt.1

To make a long story short, I needed to use this post to vent. To just pour out the thoughts and raging emotions within me. For the month of May, I am going to focus more on tacking on my inner strengths and weaknesses. I spent most of the month of April mentally searching and thawing through my past.

I was mentally searching for an escape from my day to day. A get away, so to say. I even went on a one week vacation from my part-time job. In that one week, I reconnected with an old friend from about three years ago and I discovered a “peace” of mind that had always been there. 

When the month of April began I really was wondering,

 “Why now in my life I have NO FRIENDS?” 

I thought that thawing through my past would help me find an answer. However, all I discovered was why I ended so many so-called friendships to begin with. 

Since becoming 24, this has truly been the very first time in my life that I can truly say that I am basically to myself and to my husband. The only time I mainly interact with people is when I go to work and be in the presence of my co-workers. And to be completely honest with you, for that reason I really started loving seeing my co-workers at work. A lot of folks, think that just because I have a very nice following on YouTube that I have lots of friends, networking opportunities, and free time to spend “freely.” 

When all I have is Jesus, my husband, my unborn child, my notebooks, books, and my faithful readers of this site. My subscribers matter a whole bunch as well. YouTube has not changed my life at all. On YouTube, I make an average teenagers allowance money and still survive from my 9 to 5. 

I am to many people who view me on the internet a natural hair product junkie who loves tea, loves using the word y’all, and strives to lose weight. I am not viewed as an inspiring author or writer. Neither as a motivational young carefree black woman. I am not viewed as a loner who chooses to use her talent of writing to connect with other people. At the end of the day, I am fine with that. I lose no sleep.

This month of May will not only be a month of reflection, but a month of becoming better. I am going to keep discovering my inner strength to become the best woman that I can be. I can start by taking every God given day as a day of gratitude (and document it every day.) I can also keep my prayer life strong and keep open communication with my spouse even when I feel like I am truly down. How are you going to discover ways to improve this month? There are many ways to grow. When will you start? 

Is there anything that you want to vent about? Do you want to share your thoughts below? 

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