I still can vividly recall the day when the landlord to my husband and I very first apartment placed the keys in the palm of my hand. I felt empowered. I felt overjoyed. It was a feeling of victory. Seeing my name on the lease and turning the knob to a place that I could call home felt great.

You want to know an honest truth? My sister and I use to crave for lemonade so bad. We would break yellow highlighters and remove the ink. 

When I was sixteen, I started feeling like I was straying away from God. 

A Sunday in May 2010

I remember sharing with you all about my falling out with my little sister. I also talked about how rekindled friendships that I choose to reinvest in came out being a horrible idea. Even though the idea was horrible I somehow manage to find peace within myself to seriously let the spark that I choose to relight, die down within a few weeks. 

I thought that I could have a replacement for the void of not having that “friend” or “trusted family member” to vent to. During the months of March through July, I really had to take the time to mentally get use to not reaching for my phone to call or even text anyone for advice or even conversation. You see I had I to reprocess in my mind that I was no longer a friend to any of the folks that “I labeled myself to be.” I was just an asset. An asset that choose not to become a useless argument.

To make a long story short, I needed to use this post to vent. To just pour out the thoughts and raging emotions within me. For the month of May, I am going to focus more on tacking on my inner strengths and weaknesses. I spent most of the month of April mentally searching and thawing through my past.