When I found out I was pregnant in the month of February and just days before Mardi Gras I was in shock. Immediately my husband was saying all throughout our one-bedroom apartment, “I knew it! I knew it.” 

All while I was simply standing in our bathroom mirror holding up the pregnancy test constantly saying, “Oh my God.” I was in shock! Well, I knew that the possibility of me finally getting pregnant was going to happen eventually. 

My hubby and I were very much bedroom lovers and excited to keep trying new things. Moving along from that topic, I just did not think that we were going to end up becoming expecting parents for this year. 

If you would have asked me a year ago about getting pregnant for my husband I would have said, “The timing is not right. We are planning for a baby, but no time soon.” Little did I know one year later God was laughing at my spoken plans the entire time.

Once I found out that I was indeed five weeks pregnant it was time for me to act, a totally different mind frame, and increase my prayer life. I was not having second thoughts about bringing a life into this world that did not ask to be here. I was preparing on becoming a mother in the next nine months. 

There will, of course, be folks who will say something around the sounds of, “Well, Lynn you married; you can have your baby and not have to stress like you did not know who the father was.” 

My reply to that would be, “Not every woman is built the same mentally, spiritually, physically, and even financially.” I believe that too many women get into that cookie cutter way of thinking when it comes to a married woman getting pregnant. They think she has it good, she has it all together, and how blessed she is.

 Sometimes a lot of jealousy fuels that way of thinking at times depending on the woman. I stop by to tell you that there are in fact many married women that have abortions, and their husbands support them on it or the husband never knew the wife ever did such a thing. 

Not every marriage is going to be complete with a child or children. Not every married woman wants to be or become a mother. I am not here to cast judgment on any woman or married couple that has aborted their child or children. I am here to say that I did not give up on my child’s life. 

The way that I grew up being poor and barely having a damn pot to piss in gives me motivation still to this day. I am now eight months pregnant and having a baby next month and I believe that God made no mistake. He knew exactly what he was doing when he blessed my womb with a child. 

My child’s life was pre-designated before time. This is the season for grace and favor upon my life. This is that season to receive what I have been missing in my life and finally get a chance to experience. 

I get to experience motherhood. My husband gets a chance to finally have his son that will look up to him and admire our marriage. Everything is working out for the good. I would not want it any other way. I must say that eyes haven’t seen, ears haven’t heard all that the Lord has planned for me.

I wanted to leave someone a prayer below for any woman who is mentally conflicted with whether they should give birth to their unborn child or not.

Dear Heavenly Father,

"I come to you now with my head bowed asking that you mend my broken heart and soul. For I come you conflicted within my spirit. I am asking that you renew my way of thinking and I open my heart to you. I love you Father, God and I cannot live this life without you. I believe in your works and I believe that you would never forsake me or leave me alone. I believe that this unborn child within my womb has a purpose in this life. I thank you for blessing me with the opportunity to still be alive. I ask that you purify my thoughts and ease my troubled mind. I believe that this unborn child has immense potential in this world. Allow me to see the good in life and to understand your word. I believe that I have what it will take to become a great mother or to even be a blessing to another family with my child. 
In your heavenly name I pray,

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