I decided
to give myself the time to mentally heal. Mentally healing myself from my past
and not shunning away my own emotions. There's a quote that goes, “You cannot
heal what you will not speak.”
This quote resonates oh so well with me on a
deep and spiritual level. I have been holding back from speaking my true
voice for years. I used to allow for my true voice to be shied away from
the light. The light that warms my soul and confines my spirit.
I'm a very open person for the most part, but I dislike feeling variable. I dislike
feeling that I owe someone/anyone more of my truth just because they maybe are
open with me. I'm not a stand-offish type of individual. Like many of you, I
have been judged and mistreated by the people that I love the most. The pain a
lot of the frustration those people caused me left me feeling defeated. I kept
my true voice and emotions all bottled in and pushed aside.
I used to
unleash my stored anger on anyone who really pushed my buttons and then crying
became a way to mask my true anger, because I always felt like I was weak. I
always felt like I had an upper hand on me that envied me and my potential to
do well in life. It was not until I became 18 and started truly thinking about
bettering my life. I knew that I had to get away from my hometown, my home, and
my family.
Moving away from my hometown brought me so much clarity
and peace. Some folks say that home is where the heart is, and I honestly never
felt that way. I was always in many ways detached from my family and looked at
like a hopeless dreamer. I knew way back then that my dreams had value. My
dreams were worth much more than just what people were limiting me to.
I chose
to not let what anyone stop me from accomplishing anything that I set out to do,
which is not an easy thing for most people to do.
I want to encourage anyone
who may feel disconnected from their past to know that, their past will not determine
their future. The past can be a place that someone can choose to rest like the
dew in the morning on grass or allow their past to be a seed that is placed in
the ground to grow.
By planting
the past in the ground, it gives that individual a chance to allow their future
to grow! For the past to grow and behave as if it was a seed then the first
step is letting the past go. All that anger, pain, frustration, and even tears
can be placed all in a seed. One thing that I know for sure about seeds is that
they are so small but can grow to be very mighty. Once that seed is placed in
the ground it must be cared for in the proper matter for it to grow into
something beautiful.
If you
never speak over your past, then you will never grasp onto the lessons that
came with it. Dare to be a conquer and speak over and for yourself to grow.
Discover your inner strength every step of the way with
shesfoundstrength.com
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