When you are driven by a passionate impulse to do something that will fulfill your spirit, act on it. I recently acted on a dynamic, driven impulse to cut my own natural hair on the first Wednesday of September 2020! I love Wednesdays, and I also wanted to switch up my look. I started off just going through the motions of my regular wash day.

I shampooed and deep conditioned my hair because it felt a little dry. While detangling my hair with a deep conditioner on it, I thought about blowing my hair out with my Revlon1 Step Paddle blow dryer and giving myself a good and necessary trim. It was nice to consider because I had been avoiding trimming my hair for almost three months now on purpose. 

I also had been feeling the urge to go to a trusted natural hairstylist and get a big chop. I had so many thoughts about locing my natural hair as well; however, at this time in my life, I am not ready for the commitment. So, big chopping was what I was going to do. I just did not know when, who was going to do it, or how it was going to turn out.

One thing I did know is that I spiritually felt compelled to cut my hair and had dreams of me doing it at least two times in the month of July. 

I wanted to get my hair cut while I was in the right headspace. I’ve had so much drama trying to weigh on me this summer in many ways that I started to feel anxious about even having to style my hair. I stopped dying my hair using permeant box dye due to how my hair porosity shifted and how I started to view my natural hair color. I wanted to also free up most of the time that I spent doing my hair during the week. 

My natural hair was starting to give me actual anxiety and was becoming what I hid behind because of my insecurities with my hormonal acne. I never felt confident with my hormonal skin unless my hair was down whenever I did not wear any makeup to cover my discoloration from acne scars or bumps.

I also spent time feeling as if I had to rush through my wash days because of my anxiety with my hair. After I blow-dried my hair, I opened up my Snapchat app and showed my followers on there my hair and even went on my Instagram platform and did the same thing. I followed up with chopping my hair with a pair of shears that I have been owned, and the rest was history for me.

I messaged my husband, who then Facetime me to see what my new hair was looking like. He was shocked but loved it and couldn’t wait to see my hair when he made it home from work. I also told my bestie Derecka that I was going to follow through with styling my hair through text messages. She was just as excited as I was with my decision to cut my own hair.

I did not cry. I was emotional because cutting my hair made me feel a sense of independence that was so empowering. For years I have never felt confident within myself to big chop my own hair. I never trusted myself in my own hair unless it was just for doing the basics like shampooing, deep treating, styling in wash n gos & twist outs, and detangling for the most part. 

Cutting my own hair made me appreciate my capabilities to step out on faith and to trust the unseen results.

Many people loved my new hair cut. Many disliked it, and others who felt like I did it for reasons that are none of my damn business. I am just glad that I did it! I did it myself and without allowing the negative comments from others hold me back from doing something that felt good to me. I just want to encourage someone who may be reading this to mentally step out into doing something fulling for your spirit. 

You may see signs like I did. I kept seeing angle number 444 for two weeks straight, leading up to my spiritual awakening and newfound joy in my life. Take note of how you are feeling and how you may want to feel better. It starts in your mind and spirit. If you allow yourself to talk yourself out of feeling more confident or more assertive, then you are in the end doing yourself a disservice. Speak, love, and joy over yourself! 

Be compassionate with yourself, and go after your happiness.

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