No More Hiding Behind My Hair

After 4 years of growing out my natural hair without a big chop for 9 years of begin natural, I finally had the courage to cut my hair. My problem with deciding on cutting my hair shorter was solely wrapped around the hiding I enjoyed with my shoulder-length natural curls. My hormonal acne and hyperpigmentation from acne scars left my face riddled with imperfections.

October 2020

Even though I was no longer working as a bank teller and was a stay-at-home mom, I still had an active presence on social media and to those with who I interacted within my everyday life. With longer hair, I enjoyed being able to hide behind my length whenever my skin was bare or just misbehaving. My long hair was my shield, especially on great hair days. 

People never complimented me on my skin, just my hair and smile. It didn’t bother me because I knew my skin was a mess. I knew that at that time if my hair and makeup looked good, that was enough. It wasn’t until early August when I no longer wanted to hide behind my hair. I even had dreams of me hiding whenever I would go to sleep. 

Yes, I was scared, but I knew that my hair was giving anxiety on wash days and was starting to feel like a chore. I wanted to change. I desired to feel confident and more secure in my skin. I started becoming more invested in improving my health and skincare. Less money on hair care and more money on skincare & my inner health. I was committed to loving myself without the perfect skin-like foundation shade on before cutting my hair too.

Before cutting my natural hair

By the beginning of September, I took the chance and big chopped my hair and felt so liberated! Yes, my skin isn’t super clear even now, but it’s much better than it used to be. My confidence is stronger, and I am so happy that I stepped out and did it. I even went to a professional natural hair stylist in my area for a shorter and more flattering shape to my hair. I learned that hiding behind your hair no matter the texture is a choice. 

It’s also a privilege for one to be able to hide behind their hair as well. Not everyone from different cultures and or religious backgrounds can hide behind their hair. If you may be hiding behind your hair, ask yourself why? Are you comfortable with doing it? Are you secure within yourself enough to cut it a few inches shorter or even all off? How would you view yourself if you did a big chop?