My Mother's Love Is Still Protecting Me

in , , by Linda B Hurd, January 25, 2022

She’s still here. My mama. It makes me so emotional to type this and say it out loud. Growing up, my mama gave me a lot of tough love. I didn’t get many hugs, kisses, or motherly affection. I also didn’t have a father figure in my life and witnessed how it molded my mother mentally and emotionally. After almost 29 years, I still have her, and I’m thankful. Today is her birthday, and by God’s grace, she’s still in good health. When I separated from my spouse last year, my mama had my back. 


The last time I saw my mama was in the summer of 2020. The ride to visit my mama in my husband’s truck had me choked up. I knew that my husband at the time had a wishy-washy relationship with his own mama. I also felt indifferent about his mama seeing our son whenever she wanted to, which wasn’t much because she disliked me being a stay-at-home mom. On the other hand, my mama only saw our son whenever Bruce had the time to want to drive to Napoleonville. 

There were many times that I felt that he looked down on my immediate family. He didn’t have to tell me. The way he thought about my family showed plenty of times. I always knew he felt somehow from just how he would stare at my people, and his body language would be cold towards them. Maybe my mama never had money or thought that he always had to pull out his wallet left a bitter taste in his mouth whenever we visited. Either way, I took his mama bullshit and attitude towards me and never asked his mother for a dime! 

When my son and I went two weeks without groceries in “his brother’s” house that I tried to make a home, I knew that there was no way I could call and ask his mother for help because it would have ended up getting smeared in my face eventually. 

Overall, I still wanted our son to have a relationship with my mama. My mama deserved to have a bond with both of my children. No matter how the hell he felt about it. All our son knew was his mama and daddy that shit didn’t sit right with me at all. Since my mama is still alive, why wouldn’t she be a part of our children’s lives?

When his mama would complain about not seeing Eli or Alina, I would roll my eyes. I wouldn’t roll my eyes out of being bitchy. I did it because I started to feel as if she felt a sense of entitlement to being around my children while saying sly things to me about my parenting skills. Enough became enough, and I just yearned that my own mama could spend precious time with her grandchildren.

When I went back home, my mother did all she could have and some to help me with Eli and Alina. I cried because I knew she had been praying for the day and the opportunity to have her grandbabies in her presence. She changed Alina’s diapers and assisted Eli with doing things. I had time to get out alone while she remained with her grandbabies. I just felt a sense of relief and guilt all at the same time.

There’s so much that I want to give my mama. I would even talk to my spouse about what I wanted to buy for my mom. He would just listen to me talk with so much eagerness and would barely say a thing. I would be thinking out loud. Either way, I am still determined to succeed. I’m on a mission to grind for myself and my family. The vision is way bigger than mine. Just being able to hear my mother’s voice today was heartfelt. I’m happy that she’s in good spirits, that I can still call on her, and that she’s still praying for me as much as I’m praying for her. 

Today I spent the necessary time practicing gratitude. As I embark on another month of healing during this separation, I’m returning to myself and my happiness. 

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  1. I was a fan of your blog , but it seems like now all you down is down your ex husband .
    when are you going to stop making negative blogs about what he's done and speak more positive about YOURSELF. everything seems to be him him him. even this blog that was supposed to be about your MOM you still found a way to down your ex husband please get a new topic. i was a major fan and im sure one fan wont be missed but you must stop blaming everyone else for where youve failed to have your own ambition instead of feeling "trapped". Just stop degrading other people publicly to lift yourself. your blog has become strictly negativity

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    1. Just some advice. sending healing your way because you cant seem to let go of the negativity

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    2. You could have emailed this to me and we could have had a private conversation. That way we could have had a heart to heart about how you felt about what I have been posting. I would have loved to address all your concerns by using your name, love. Thank you for reading and being a supporter of my blog. I still appreciate it.

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    3. Finally someone has said it ! i wish you'd change your narrative. I was trying not to be the one to be so straightforward but i have to agree with the users comment, your blog is definitely negative, i use to read it all of the time but everytime i come here it's just the same stuff. And you're requesting private conversation yet it's okay for you to put out PUBLIC business? it's okay for you to air someone out pubicly but you want to be emailed privately? the auacity of you. god bless

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    4. I admire your courage and strength. And it's your blog, you can pour your heart out here after being silent for so long.

      Know others who read see your resilience and will celebrate your triumphs. And I'm glad your mom also lent her support.

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    5. I dont beilieve the other ladies are being mean . it does come off harsh . i agree with you as well but who's to say it's all true besides...this comment was probably self created

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    6. It's okay. People are entitled to feel however they chose to feel. I am open to keeping all comments up. Thank you, Keema for stopping on by and reading as well as sharing your thoughts.

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  2. Also, it's 2022 please leave the degrading post about your husband and his family in 2021. you claim to be so uplifting and god serving yet you dont live up to that with this information you constantly put out into the world. It's almost like you're obsessed or need a story line

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    1. Thanks for stopping on by! I appreciate you for sharing your thoughts.

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    2. I also think is awesome that you are being transparent with me on my blog as well! I am open to all the feedback you and others may have regarding my blog posts for the very first time openly. It's so heart felt. Thanks again.

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  3. I don't know if I missing something but I disagree with people saying that you were being negative. I feel like any book, memoir, biography the author have a right and duty to be forthright about there struggles in hopes to help others. I felt the story about your mother was very touching and the struggles with in laws is very relatable. You seriously have a gift for writing and vlog. I cam across your video regarding 7 weeks symptoms and ended up watching several of your life videos and then came here. You are truly a beautiful person please keep hold of your virtue and focus on The Most High, there's more I will write to you directly through private message.

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