As you read this, it's almost 1 am. My mind is calm. I am in the queen-size bed with my 4-year-old son and a 10-month-old daughter. I've been looking back over all the decisions I made this month to see how I've treated myself. I just finished journaling. 

For May, I allowed too much to slide. I placed myself in a situation with someone I loved and knew better about. I wasn't assertive enough. I wasn't compassionate enough. I stressed about problems that could have been avoided if I had just remained here in this room at my friend's home from the very beginning. This month has taught me that I must carve time out for myself. I've been accommodating to everyone in my life. And talking a little too much about my problems. As the last week of this month comes to a close, I'm back to journaling, going on walks, and resting with my children.

The time that I have with both of my children keeps me going. I also have never, since the separation, been apart from both of them so I can take care of myself. I owe myself a solo date this year in the city. I desire to take myself out for brunch and a pedicure. Two things that I will get done without both of my children. I'm hopeful for a better and more effective co-parenting relationship with my almost ex-husband. 

The more he's willing to be active with both kids, the more time he can create memories with them together. Eli and Alina are best friends even though Alina can't talk yet. I have been sending photos of them to their father so he can see how they thrive and have fun moments as siblings. 

Moving back to the Westbank of New Orleans, my home for over a decade, has been in my plans. I've also been apartment hunting, job searching, and looking into finishing my associate's degree. This will be a semi-rough summer for me. Every year since I was an adolescent, I learned a life-changing lesson during the summertime. I'm embracing the changes that come along with growth. When you can live regret-free, you're at peace. It takes time to get there. The world we live in glamorizes having it all together. The ideal place to live, having a nice car, friends, family, money, and lavish trips.

When you detach yourself from what the world showcases as a definition of happiness, you can live for yourself and no one else. Money does change the way we can live and provide for ourselves and our families. I won't allow money to be the motive for my drive and ambition in this lifetime. I am claiming joy, no confusion, and God's favor over my life and kids for June. I will also post more to my blog, even if it's just a paragraph. I want to be more aligned with my brand and calling as a writer. Overall, I believe that I will overcome my shortcomings. I will be able to provide more and give my kids their own room. Within the season of that breakthrough, God will bless us in due time. 

I want to encourage you to keep your head up. Circumstances and people can only have as much power over your happiness as you allow them to. Remember to don't give up on yourself. You made it through situations you once thought you wouldn't. Your strength is impressive, and so is your smile. Keep on going forward! 

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