Having A Baby Will Not Make Him Stay

When loving him is no longer enough, sis walk away and love on you! I’ve been there before. I felt hopeless in a marriage fighting to save the look of having a two-parent home for our children. I have been blindsided by deceit and been the deceitful one.

Photo by Yaoqi on Unsplash

If loving him is draining you in any way find the strength to choose yourself! You will continue to fight a silent war with a man who ignores your efforts. You both must want the same vision.

He must also desire better for the relationship or marriage you both share. Your tears won’t stop, sis. Don’t allow that man to make you lose sight of your worth and happiness. A baby. An expensive vacation. A new car. A night of passionate lovemaking won’t change a man who has already mentally and emotionally checked out.

Baby, I exhausted myself mentally and emotionally with a newborn baby in a marriage that had fizzled out long before I was pregnant. In 2020, I tried playing with my looks and cutting my hair shorter, cooking different meals to please him, and trying to strengthen lines of communication. I even went my overly concerned self to therapy. It all was not enough to spice the way he viewed me up. Everyone talks now about the red flags, but what about your intuition? 

Ask yourself

What do feel when you are with him?

How does loving him feel these days?

Do you feel as if you are putting in too much time and effort and it is not being reciprocated? 

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Before you get to tell your close friends and family about what is going on in your marriage or relationship value your emotions, needs, and time. They will fill you up will too much to mentally break down and deflect on their own situations, when it's really about what's best for you!

People are always going to tell you what they believe will be the best decision for you without living through your situation.

Everyone wants what’s best for you and your child or children until you thinking too clearly and are ready to walk away. Some people think that throwing in the towel is for the weak at heart. Sweetheart, throwing in the towel may be the best action toward saving your life!

Not everyone is going to be supportive of you starting all over again. Not everyone is going to tell you that you seem crazy, stupid, or not realizing how good you may have it made with him with money, status, and or the lifestyle you maintain together.

Know that in this lifetime you can only plan ever so carefully and to the point for so long when it comes to love. A man can wake up tomorrow and decide to not come back home to his family or just you. A man can leave seeming so happy and at peace with you while all along pillow talking to his other woman about leaving you. His treating you wrong has nothing to do with you as a woman.

His treating you wrong is a reflection of how he wants to be perceived by his ego and those in his corner co-signing for his unloyalty to you.

Here's a gentle start

Write out an action plan. Stack physical cash and open another bank account if possible to move money into if you can. Give yourself grace.

Time will never be on your side; therefore I won’t ever lie and tell you to set a certain month to escape. You will feel compelled within your spirit when you have had enough. Remember if you have a child or children that he or she deserves to have a mother fully functioning in her happiness and comfort.

Your child or children if you have them do not deserve a mother whose unsure of her future or lives in fear of not being able to provide without their father figure presently there. There are too many women that have committed suicide and were victims of domestic violence by their mean and jealous partners that also felt physically trapped, hopeless, and broken so much by someone who they risk it all to love.

You will destroy yourself trying to love a man past the pain he has caused unto you and your children. Your time on this earth and your life are far much too precious to waste wishing, hoping, and being drained from anxiety. Start living, sis! Start choosing you. It is never too late! Feel free to share this post with someone who may need to see it.