Life Goes On With Or Without You

in , , by Linda B Hurd, May 06, 2024

As the weekend approached, I made a bold decision! It was time to prioritize my happiness. With two kids to care for and a history of disappointing co-parenting experiences, I took matters into my own hands. This past Friday night wasn’t just about finding a sitter and going out – it was a declaration of independence and self-care.

Finding a reliable sitter was the first step. After a few days of diligent searching and vetting, I finally found someone I trusted to watch over my two precious children. With arrangements in place, I set out for a night that has become a milestone in my journey towards personal fulfillment.

Before the night arrived, I felt conflicted within my spirit. I have not co-parented in over a year. For me, co-parenting looks and feels like a mutual relationship focused and centered upon the children that I had with my ex-spouse. I have guarded my mind and cherished myself enough to stand strong on deserving respect as a mother.

I also deserve time to myself and away from my kids without feeling guilty. I have reserved myself in a bubble. I do not want to overly burden the people who mean the most to me with the demise of a challenging co-parenting relationship. I have cut ties completely until respect and understanding are warranted. 

The evening's destination was a concert unlike any other: the DJ vs. the violinst. The fusion of electronic beats and classical strings created an electrifying atmosphere. I found myself swept away in the music. Singing along to the melodies, I felt a sense of liberation wash over me. It reminded me that I deserved moments of joy and indulgence. Plus, it is independent of my role as a parent or any past disappointments.

But this night wasn’t just about the music. It was about reclaiming my autonomy and investing in my well-being. For too long, I had relied on my ex-husband to fulfill his parental duties. I then was only to be met with inconsistency and disappointment. Court-appointed weekends often ended in broken promises, no text or show, and dashed hopes for my children.

I understood that I couldn’t continue to subject myself and my kids to this cycle of letdowns just for a 24-hour break from my kids. I decided to take control of my happiness and prioritize what was best for us in this era.

That decision meant no longer relying on someone else to validate my worth or fulfill my needs. It meant dedicating time and resources to activities that brought me joy and fulfillment, regardless of external circumstances. Most importantly, it meant shielding my children from the disappointment of unmet expectations and unreliable parental figures.

I danced. I had a few drinks and sang my heart out that Friday night. I felt a newfound sense of empowerment. I was no longer bound by past disappointments or the expectations of others. I was charting my course towards happiness, for myself and my children.

In this era of uncertainty and change, one thing remains constant. That is the importance of prioritizing our well-being. By embracing independence and taking proactive steps towards happiness many of us can create a brighter and more fulfilling future for ourselves and our loved ones. And that, my dear reader, is a journey worth embarking on.

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