Maybe you have been thinking this too! There will be people that won’t clap for you because they’re too intimidated by your confidence. That’s okay, clapping is not a requirement for success.
 |
| Pexels |
As women, many of us were raised to be seen and not heard. Raised
to be accommodating and maybe even soft-spoken. There are some of us that
possibly learned to dim our light to make others comfortable. Many women also learned
to apologize for being assertive. From being in rough friendships many women
have learned to downplay their wins to make ourselves smaller; that way others
wouldn’t feel insecure. However, at some point, you must ask yourself: why
should my confidence come off as a threat to anyone who truly supports me?
In my best Fantasia singing voice, “truth is” when a
woman walks in her purpose, it rattles people who are still hiding from theirs.
Your glow will expose those still sitting in the darkness. Your progress will
remind others of what they are procrastinating on. Your peace will irritate
those who thrive off chaos. However, as all this can be true you are not
required to shrink to protect their comfort.
Confidence is not arrogance. I do not care how people may view it. Confidence is not loud or defined by ego. Confidence is peace. It’s knowing who you are and not needing validation to feel worthy. When you have confidence, you learn how to stand firm in your boundaries, your voice, your energy and your standards.
However, when you move through the world around people who are
used to you playing small, they might start whispering, judging, or acting
funny with you. Let them do whatever that helps them get rest. Growth requires
space. Not everyone can breathe at your new altitude.
I have seen it happen time and time again! I am talking about
how women start thriving, glowing, and speaking with purpose, and then people
around them start acting different. Friends get distant. Family throwing shade
in underhanded jokes. People watching their social media like a hawk for
context clues. It is projection. People project their fears onto women who are
no longer afraid to show up as their full selves.
Here's a gentle reminder; you do not owe anyone a smaller
version of yourself just so they can feel like someone special. You do not have
to make yourself less ambitious, less attractive, less outspoken, or less upbeat
to keep the peace. That is not serving you. That is self-abandonment.
Shrinking hides the
strengths within you that were meant to stand out. When you
silence those parts, you stop attracting the blessings that were meant for the
woman who walks in her full power. Confidence leads to opportunities that insecurity blocks. When you
believe in your worth, you notice more possibilities.
Confidence is not the
absence of doubt. It is choosing faith over fear. It is not perfection, but
presence. Confident women don’t know everything; they just keep showing up.
If your confidence makes someone uncomfortable, that is a
personal problem with that other person. A secure person will never be
threatened by your shine; they’ll be inspired by it. Insecure people will try
to convince you to lay off doing too much to get to where you desire to be.
Stop negotiating with that kind of energy.
The next time someone calls you “too much,” remember they are
not enough to handle the fullness of who you are. You are not “doing too much”
by being happy, ambitious, or outspoken. You are living as you were designed
to. Do not apologize for celebrating yourself. Do not apologize for speaking
your truth, or for holding yourself to a higher standard.
Confidence can
influence others. The more you own it, the more other women watching
you will believe they can too. Whenever you walk into a room and take up space
unapologetically. You give silent permission for another woman to do the same. If
you ask me, that is power. That is legacy.
Stop apologizing for evolving. Do not fall into the trap of
explaining why you have outgrown people, places, and patterns. You are allowed
to change. You are allowed to protect your peace. You are allowed to upgrade
your boundaries and your mindset. Not everyone is supposed to come with you on
this lifelong journey.
Confidence can also look like silence. Confidence can look
like walking away from gossip, refusing to explain your boundaries, or not
defending your choices. Here’s something else, confidence is saying “no”
without guilt. Confidence is saying, “yes” without hesitation. Confidence is
saying “goodbye” without closure.
The woman you are becoming needs your voice and not your
silence. She needs your courage, not you’re overthinking. She needs you to
stand tall. She needs you to speak truthfully, and dress with reassurance in
yourself. You cannot build the life you deserve while pretending to be someone
who fits into spaces you have outgrown.
Therefore, fix your crown, sis. Speak up for the change you desire
to see. Post that content. Apply for that job. Start that business. Wear that
dress. Take up every inch of space that belongs to you. You’re not here to
blend in, you are here to stand out and shine with purpose.
If they cannot handle your light, let them stay in their
shadows. Now, sis, never, ever dim yours again.
Add your comment