When Family Ties Become Unraveled | Story Time

in , , by Linda B Hurd, December 23, 2017

I wanted to start this blog post off by saying this year has been truly eye-opening for me. It wasn't like I was sleep or anything like that. Well, yeah, I wasn't spiritual woke on the inside to see what God wanted me to understand in my waking life.

You see around the month of March I had found out I was having a baby boy and the first person besides my husband I wanted to tell was my mom. However, to tell my mom, the news I had to tell my lil sister first. (I had no problem with doing it either.)

Plus, my mom doesn't have a phone. When I broke the news, I heard how happy my mom was and the blandness in my sister's tone. I knew something was wrong and I knew it was not my happiness.

Leading up to me telling her my baby's gender I couldn’t get in contact with her for weeks. I felt like I was chasing her by playing phone tag to just get in contact with her. 

Whenever she would finally call me I would on the clock at work after hours of not returning my phone call. It then struck me that she was slowly starting to avoid me. 

I didn't want my conscious to be right about this one, though. I just didn't. We talked at least two to three times a week. 

I told her my freakin' business. My freakin' business that I could have just kept to myself, but didn't. I felt hella close to her like we had that deep sister connection. But little did I know our strong ties where wearing thin with my eyes wide open. If you let her tell it, I just called her to pass time. When that was never the case.

My husband started to intervene with me about what was going on between she and I and all I found myself doing was fighting back tears. This was supposed to be one of the happiest moments in my life (I was pregnant for the first time for God sakes.) I told him that she started avoiding my phone calls after I gave her advice that she asked for, but did not take well. Since then our sister bond started fizzling out. 

She is a loner and an introvert with no friends. She knew I was that friend found in a big sister that she wanted (so I thought.) My husband's advice to me was, "Baby just stop calling her, since she never calls you and just see what happens." 

I agreed since I never been the type to really text message to begin with. Then within weeks I hear nothing. I try to connect with her to check up with her on Instagram and to my surprise she had blocked my ass and unfollowed. 

I was clutching my imaginary pearls, honey! I was not pressed behind the matter either. It was a childish move to me. It didn't shock me as much as I thought it would. Once the month of May rolled around I was feeling better within my spirit. After two months of breaking ties with my own sister swiftly and respectfully I found mental peace. The peace that I was praying for months ago!

The peace that made my mama understand that I was doing what was best for my mental health. Chile, letting go was simply a phone call never made away from my peace. I believe that God made it this way to reveal to me that my own sister was never riding for me to begin with. 

She never truly supported my dreams or decisions in life either. It's totally fine too. There came a point in my life where I needed to become reminded that I need to be my own best friend. That's a part of me I packed away in a duffle bag filled with excuses. The excuses that I made for her. Not the excuses that I made for myself. 

I take full responsibility today for being the bigger person. I love her from a distance today, because I don't agree to her lifestyle. 

I do not agree to how she treats our mom or uncle Leonard for a social security check. I respect hustle and getting it out the mud. I don't respect settling and using your disabled uncle for a 1st if the month turn up!

Tough love hurts, and the truth will set you free. I am not a victim, but a strong receiver of getting it how you live. I'm so much wiser than I was before. Thankfully, I serve a God who will never leave or forsake me. Going into 2018 feels refreshing already! Time heals everything.

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