When God Steps In... | Reflection

Around this very same time last year in 2017, I discovered that I was 5 weeks pregnant. I for one had no clue that I was either. In fact, one of my co-workers told me that I didn't seem like my jolly-ole-self. 

I had thought about what she said and gave it deep thought. She did have a great point. I was tired, unmotivated while getting work done, and I was very dizzy. I felt like I was in a daze while at work. My first thought was I must have caught a cold or I was running a mild fever.

I did have an active sex life with my husband at the time too. However, we weren't planning on having a baby. It was not in my or his plans. Plus, if anyone truly knew me they knew that I was obsessed with planning in my Happy Planner. My life was a wreck without my planner by my side or on my nightstand. I planned and stayed on track with everything including my monthly cycle.

During this time last year, my monthly cycle was four days late. I did have an irregular period, so I didn't think much of it. I kept putting off the possibility of me being pregnant to the back of my mind. My focus was on other things. Other things like me finding another part-time job, establishing credit, and even helping my husband to pay off bills. Basically, I was living paycheck to paycheck and was fighting depression while trying to keep my faith strong in God.

On the fourth day of realizing that my period was probably not going to come, I went to Wal-Mart straight after work. I couldn't question myself much longer and it wouldn't have been the first time in my marriage that I had a pregnancy scare.

Once I made my way back home I went to the bathroom to take both pregnancy tests. I needed to be sure. I needed for the truth to be clear.

The pregnancy test immediately displayed a positive sign and I knew life had changed for not only me but my husband as well. I was going to become a mama. There was not a doubt in my mind that God's timing wasn't right.

After all, I was 24 and was struggling. Trucking to work sometimes six days out the week on my very own two feet. I didn't have a college degree. I was what some would label a college dropout. 

I didn't have a car of my own or a stable job. Every time I went to my job as a bank teller I felt like I was walking on eggshells.  Money was tight. I was practically surviving on Quaker’s Instant oatmeal and Michelina’s microwave meals until my payday came around. On top of all of that, I was searching for a new job daily. Plus, I was Uber hopping some days to get from point a to b. Through it all, I was smiling and made my life look oh so happy-go-lucky to others.

Becoming a mother was on my goal list and plans for 2018. However, MY GOD had other plans. Even when there were times I kept saying to myself and to my husband that we were not ready to become parents GOD had other plans. He knew what our marriage was ready for! I don't believe it was just a coincidence. I believe that my pregnancy was a gift from God.

Our pregnancy was a cherished and heartfelt gift to our hearts and lives. I'm thankful and grateful that God chose us to be parents. Whenever I stare into our baby boy's eyes I see his happiness. I see his love for me. I'm determined to grind and hustle for a better future for not only myself but my family.

I still don't have it all together. My husband and I are still stretching and surviving. We take each day at time and hustle in our own ways. One day our son will be able to tell me and his father how proud he is of us and I can't wait.

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