This year was the very first year of my four years of serious YouTube content creating that I started taking my channel and content seriously. I have been unemployed since the fall of September 2017 after leaving my part-time job with full-time hours as a bank teller and turning in my letter of registration. It was one of the most relieving and yet bittersweet experiences that I ever felt in my life. 
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I was then eight months pregnant and trucking to work which was a mile and a half from my apartment sometimes six days out the week on my feet when I didn’t Uber or Lyft. I’m talking I was trucking in the drizzle, rain, cold, and heat for months to work. I made a decent living for myself enough to help my husband pay the bills, put food on our table, and to basically get by. After a six-day work week, I was mentally and physically down for the count. The books that I wanted to drop never surface, because of my excuse making. This blog took the back burner and there were weeks I went without journaling.
When I had my son in late October, my mind frame shifted. When I became a mother I was no longer thinking about my YouTube channel and my blog as just hobbies anymore. My hobbies had become my jobs and my primary bread and butter. I was no longer working with or for brands just for free products. I knew my damn worth and no brand was going to use me as a plow to rack up coin like many brands did in the past. If you only knew half of the b.s. I fell for with brands then you would be shaking your head!

They say when you know better then you do better. Better is what I decided to do for my sanity, finances, and growth. 
My amazing and understanding husband supported my dreams in becoming a full-time content creator and blogger. He supported my passions as hobbies from the very beginning. Truth is I never took myself seriously. I even talked down on myself. I didn’t believe in my growth mainly because I was comparing myself to other successful content creators and bloggers. I admired their success but did not take any notes on their own personal journeys. 
I was too busy wanting the perks, but not willing to truly hustle. I realized that if I want to create quality YouTube content then I had to create the content that my subscribers wanted to see and also think of myself as a viewer of my own content. I was not pressed behind the monthly YouTube check at all. I was pressed behind growing my brand, and I still am! That part.

We all have our all unique something to bring to the table. I always was a ‘yes’ girl to brands. I always wanted to receive what they had to offer without really thinking from a business standpoint. Now that I am in my first year of truly working with brands  as a true business woman! I’m shocked about my growth. I’m shocked at how much I use to cry about not feeling as if I was not good enough to brands to get exposure and paid.My intentions are to not be a sell out and stand strong in my truth no matter how huge I will grow.
Back then, it was not my time to sow what was always meant for me reap. Rushing what is meant for you will not make your blessings come to you any quicker. You must put in that effort and match it with quality work. Prayer only works when you work. If I had everything that I thought I deserved back, then I wouldn’t have the mindset and the gratefulness that I have today.
Do not rush your growth every remarkable thing takes time to emerge. 

Ecclesiastes 7:8 - Better [is] the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: [and] the patient in spirit [is] better than the proud in spirit.

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