Growing up in a black single-parent home, tough love was vital for my mother. It was how she was raised, and it was passed on. However, I decided to break and end the generational tradition of being cold and detached from my family. Being that I am a mother, I do not want to bring up my son and future kids with too much tough love. 

Every now again tough love is necessary for discipline. I do not want my current or future children to have the upper hand on me. However, showing affection in black households is essential. Displaying gratitude, appreciation, and kindness in your home verbally or physically can bring about a positive effect within a family’s bond for a lifetime. Let’s get into five ways that black households display affection.

Saying, “I love you.”

Some black parents and or guardians will only say the words, “I love you.” only when something terrible happens to their child, holidays, or just out of frustration. Tomorrow is not promised to no one. Hearing the words, “I love you” can really have a positive effect on everyone in the household. I understand how annoying it can be to have your family in your home. 

Whenever your home feels crowded, it can feel as if you are walking on eggs shells whenever you are around your family members. Break the tension and just tell them you love them. Don’t just do it once. Admit your truth and grow closer to your loved ones.


Everyone may not like hugs. However, whenever you have children hugging is key to creating a love language. Let them know that hugging someone you care about is a form of love and thankfulness. I love hugs! Sometimes your child needs one after a long day at daycare, school, or work.


Keep an open line of communication open for your child/children and anyone in your household. Everyone who lives underneath the same roof should be able to talk to one another. If you see your spouse, child, niece, or nephew down or upset, let them know that you are never too busy to talk to them. Let them know that whatever they are going through will turn around! Comfort them with your words and allow your actions to match.


I can not stress this tip enough in black households. Uplift one another before you tear one another apart with hurtful words or actions. As black people, we already deal with enough stress and anguish in our everyday lives because of the color of our skin. 

We need to keep our homes a place of uplifting and encourage vibes. Put in the necessary effort to be there for one another and show face! We must support one another in our homes openly before we do publicly.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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  1. Hey Linda . Thank you for your blog post . I could resonate so much that this post . My family is and has been like this . Even thoughmy mother was the more loving and companionate one , my was awesome . She always was the one I went to talk about any and everything . My dad on the other hand was not . Our relationship has changed as I got older and as an adult me and my dad talk alot more . But he had a side to him that will always be cold and less understanding then my mother was . My sister is my father's daughter , she grew up with out my dad's love and care , he provides financially for her . She grew up in Haiti with my father's father . So me and my sister grew up totally different , her mother was not loving and affectionate as mine . Now being apart of each other's lives since she has lived in he United States for many years and being apart of the family we are really close . In many different countries the step mother is made to be the villan , my sister never got alone with my mother . But as my sister had kids my mother was the best grandma and that's when my sister started to see my mother Rin a different light . So with all that being said I feel showing love and having an open line of communication is crucial for the black family or mixed family like mine .

    1. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your story. I wish my family was more loving, however I can not change the past. I did not have my father in my life. I think it's a blessing that you were able to expereince having both of your parents in your life. Mixed families should always practice being loving with all their family members as well. I do agree.