As a stay at home mom, I knew that the quarantine wasn't going to break me. I have a driver's license, but I don't have a car. People have also asked me how I can stay sane during the pandemic. 

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Well, taking it day by day helps, and not overthinking your life as a mother helps first. I tell them that my situation was the same before and still is the same as many cities are reopening. My mindset has not prevented me from living. I get out and go on walks, jogs, and have playtime with my toddler. I practice self-care and keep open lines of communication with certain people in my life too. My husband still works long hours most days, and I am used to being alone with our son throughout the week.

I've taught myself how to better manage my time as a full-time college student and stay at home mom. I took the time to create a schedule that started most days at 10am and ended at 9pm. Many days I felt discouraged, misunderstood, and even felt my anxiety trying to get the best of me. 

I had several talks with my husband, God, and myself. The discussions that I had my husband centered around his work schedule and helping out with Eli if he gets off a little earlier than expected. My conversations with God-centered around being able to give me grace without feeling guilty for cutting myself some necessary slack. I can be an extreme workaholic. I am also a slightly recovering perfectionist with any endeavor that I take on. 

The conversation with myself was just as deep as the ones I had with God and my husband. However, I choose to shower myself with more compliments, affirmations, and long journaling sessions. When I decided to go back to school last year as a stay at home mom, there were a few people who doubted my potential to stick to earning my degree. 

I shrugged it all off. My husband told me and reassured me that he knows my work ethic is impressive, and I will succeed. The crazy part about it is that I achieve my own goals with my college grades. I maintained over a 3.0 GPA average and made the honor roll list both semesters. 

Also, I am a first-time generation college student. My grandma didn't believe in any of her four children (that includes my mama) needed an education (or schooling like she uses to call it). My momma didn't make it past fifth grade.

I've shared with her bits and pieces of my online college experience over the phone. She can only understand my yearning for higher education to a specific mental capacity. As far as for my younger sister and brother, it's just it is what it is the situation. We all are just trying to make a better life for ourselves, so we don't share much of our dreams with one another. 

I think it's still a lot of childhood trauma we all still have. Being told not to have big dreams that seem far fetch because you will disappoint yourself when it doesn't happen. I've spent a lot of my time in my adolescence years dreaming in color and on pen and paper. Writing my goals down and making the life that I want to live a beautiful envision. 

I'm not going to allow myself to let myself down. My son and future children will value the dreams and lifestyle that I had a genuine passion for working hard towards creating. Being a stay at home, mom is a blessing that I will never forsake. I'm making the most of the life that I have, whether or not it looks enjoyable to others. 

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  1. So inspiring! Keep pushing!!! You gon get that degree baby and you break That generational curse! I’m praying for your continued strength ❤️

    1. Thank you so much! I appreciate you! I have faith that everything will work out for the better too!

  2. This was so inspiring to read. I love how courageous you are for doing this.