Hold up. You ready for me to tell you what’s up? *inserts me positioning my hair behind my left ear while I pull my seat up to you.*
I graduated from college this May. I did it!
I didn’t post it on Instagram. I didn’t write a caption with a cap-and-gown selfie or shared a Facebook post, and it was not because it wasn’t important, but because it was sacred.
I earned my Associate's Degree in General Studies with a focus in Social Science. I earned it quietly.
After the divorce, life didn't give me a guide. Life handled me accordingly to my progress in each season. I rose. I conquered. I cried. I worked full-time, Monday through Friday from 9 to 6. I would then tend to my apartment and two kids, who needed dinner, help with homework, nighttime baths, and attention. There was no daycare. No sitter. No tribe. Just me and God’s grace.
Every night after 9 p.m., once the apartment was quiet, the toys were picked up, and dishes were in the dishwasher I would sit down, exhausted. I would then gather myself to shower and get prepared to be focused. That is when I became a student. I wrote essays. I studied for exams. I submitted assignments by midnight, even when I was sick, wasn’t sure of my assignment grade, and even when I had nothing left in my cup.
I didn’t stop.
There were so many weary nights when I questioned myself. There were times I didn’t feel as if I was giving it my all. The times when it felt like no one would ever fully understand what it took just to get through a single week.
However, I knew this degree wasn’t about being just done it was about finishing something I started. It was about doing it for me, for my future, and for the life that I desired out of the hood where we live. I know one of the main ways that I can provide a better life for myself and kids is to excel with my education.
I believe, and I will pull me and my children from poverty lines. This is a type of hustle that comes with losing hours of sleep and waking up hours later to strive to make it through the day on a caffeine high. I did not knew this spring semester was going to pull me away from my hobbies as much as it did.
I also ended up failing 2 of my final exams and still passing the classes! When I tell you it was nobody but God. I just knew when I saw that I failed those two finals that walking across the stage was probably going to not happen, but I still went out that Mother’s Day weekend and had a nice lunch date with my kids. I was already nonchalant about it, because my God is a way maker!
And a way was made!
You see I didn’t get here through handouts or constant favors. I got here through discipline, prayer, and sacrifices. There is a certain level of self-belief that I had to uplift and protect every single day.
I’m proud to share quietly but confidently, that I achieved it.
This fall, I’ll be continuing my education and pursuing my bachelor’s degree at an university of my choice. The road ahead is one that I am eager to journey. I have already proven that I’m built for it.
My advice to any mother, doing the best she can is to keep going.
Keep going if no one claps. Smile and be thankful even if you celebrate alone. Understand and know that your journey matters.
There has not been a version of me who doubted my potential. I made it a goal and wrote it down at the start of the year that I will graduate and did just that after years of setbacks in my 20’s when I had a two-parent household to raise my kids in.
I realized that I experienced more setbacks while I was married than when I had post-divorce in my early 30’s. As wild as it may sound it is my truth, and I am not ashamed of how long it has taken me to get this far. I am the first person from my immediate family to had completed college. Breaking generational curses requires a lot of effort and faith! The next level is requiring more of me and I am determined to give it all I have!
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