See I didn’t even want to share publicly that I completed my associates degree and applied to a university to work towards completing my undergrad. But when something told me, “Go head on and do it Lynn just post it!”
 |
| pexels |
That when people started asking me how I got into LSU and a lot of them weren’t asking for support. Others were too scared to ask but were watching my social media pages down to figure out how exactly.
See I know damn good and well that they weren’t clapping for me or rooting for me.
A lot of them were looking at me like, “How the hell did she did that?”
They were curious because people label me a lot of things. They figured that I’m not smart enough. They would even gossip and think I’m not worthy. There are some people that look at me as if I’m just some dumbass single mom sitting in a low-income apartment, depending on a child support check that barely comes, and a 9 to 5 that’s supposed to fuel and fund life for me and two kids without even a damn car.
Now the insults were never direct, but I felt it.
In the way some of them asked, “Wait, how did you get in?”
It was like I was not supposed to want more for myself. It was as if I should be content struggling in silence.
I Got In Because I Worked For It — Not Because I Was Handed Sh*t
I earned my associate’s degree while trying to stay sane with my two kids, homework, my mental health, and life with nobody helping me watch my children (not even on the weekends.)
There was no babysitter.
There was no “village.”
There were study nights that rolled into the early mornings of the next day
There was also no partner creating or that had a space for me to feel welcomed in.
I wrote papers with my toddler crying in the background. I took exams damn near exhausted. I studied during lunch breaks, at the bus stop while waiting to get my son off the bus and before work while my kids were still sleep before getting them ready for the day.
Do think I got here by chance?
Do you think I needed a charity donation or a handout?
Hell no! I’m getting my undergraduate degree because I refuse to let survival be my final chapter in this lifetime. I want better. I want better not just for me, but for my kids. I believe that does not make me ungrateful or selfish. This will power makes me determined.
They Hate When You Want More Than the Struggle
The real reason some people gagging with slob coming from their mouths is because they are uncomfortable when they see a woman like me dreaming bigger than her circumstances. They can think I'm doing "too much."
They talk about me like a dawg as if I should just sit still and sell some ass behind the scenes. They act like I owe them a breakdown of my every move, but if they were dealt the deck of cards I have been given, they would have shit themselves. But baby, I’m not asking for permission to do better. I’m not about to watch other people live their lives while I am stuck wishing and hoping things change for me. I am not stopping just because someone else chose to settle.
I’m Not Waiting for a Damn Soul to Save Me
I don’t have a car right now, but I am still moving.
I don’t have help right now, but I am still show up.
I’m tired, but I still wake up by God’s grace every day and get sh*t DONE.
That LSU acceptance was not a single win for me it was a message to every single woman who has ever been doubted, counted out, or talked dirty about.
You do not need these people’s permission.
You do not need their approval.
You need your accountability to not count yourself out of living a better life.
So If You’re Wondering How I Got In…
I got in because I applied and got my yes.
I got in because I earned it.
I got in because I refused to not try.
And if that makes people uncomfortable?
Good. Let them sink in it.
I look at it like this too while they’re watching and talking. I will be studying, rising, and building a life that my children will be proud of.
Add your comment