Let me tell you that November was a month that in ways pushed me, humbled me, and reminded me of the woman I am becoming. November for me was not a soft month. It was not an easy or carefree month. This month was exhausting, revealing, and necessary. As I take this time to look back, I can say I learned more about myself in these past few weeks than I have in a long time.
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Becoming TA of the Month While Feeling Empty Inside
In the beginning of November, I was recognized as TA of the Month at my school. It was a wonderful accomplishment. Coming into this accomplishment and still being new into my position, this accomplishment meant a lot to me. I walk into my job during the week determined to give my students patience, support, structure, and an honest smile. I do all this even when life is heavy on my shoulders.
What people did not see was how exhausted I was. They did not see the mornings when I pep-talked myself up to have the energy to walk out the front door. They did not see the nights I came home mentally drained. They did not see the evenings I was emotionally thin and still had to pour into my kids, my homework for LSU, and my own life.
Recognition felt good.
However, my body was telling me something was intensely wrong.
My Health Forced Me to Sit Down & Listen
After the first two weeks of feeling drained, lightheaded, and unusually fatigued, I decided that my two cups of coffee a day fix was not enough to keep me active. I placed a doctor’s appointment for another wellness check. Once my bloodwork came back the truth shook me.
I was yet again severely anemic.
• MCHC: 30.3 extremely low
• Hemoglobin: 11.9 below normal for where it should be
• Ferritin: 39.9 showing depleted iron storage
After seeing those numbers on my MyChart everything else made sense. I was fighting a silent battle with breathlessness, brain fog, and even physical exhaustion after doing the smallest things. My CBC with differential exposed the truth: my body was running on fumes.
The menacing part?
The doctor warned me that if I didn’t take this seriously, I might end up needing a blood transfusion before Christmas. That was something I did NOT want. Not during the holidays. Not at all.
I started a new iron supplement. I gave myself permission to rest. And I realized that being strong sometimes looks like slowing down.
Parenting Through Sickness, Fevers & Fatigue
I found myself leaving work early one day after both of my kids came down with fevers. I am talking about real fevers that were in the 102 range, back-to-back.
Therefore, while my body was crying for rest, the go-hard mommy mode in me did not have the option to tap out. I still had to take care of them regardless, like duh. I made sure they were hydrated, comfortable, and I monitored them around the clock.
This month reminded me that I am truly parenting alone deeply and not emotionally, financially, or physically supported by anyone else. I still, somehow, every day, I show up ready for what may rise. Even when I am hurting. Even when I am tired. Even when I am a bit scared.
I Still Found the Strength to Make Thanksgiving Dinner
I am proud of myself for this.
Even with anemia and exhaustion, I got up on Thanksgiving morning and made dinner. I did not have a house full of people. I did not have a partner helping me cook or keep a watchful eye on the greens. I did not have extra hands to watch the kids while I cooked.
It was just me.
I did it anyway.
After the meal, we spent the holiday break inside decorating our tree, dancing, and letting peace settle into our home.
No Dating, No Distractions, No Drama
People keep asking me if I’m dating. The answer is simple:
No. Not now. Not soon. I’m not interested.
My energy is too precious. My health is fragile during this time. My life is growing in a direction that requires transparency and not emotional confusion. I have outgrown caking on the phone, empty conversations, and men who drain instead of pour.
This season is for me, my kids, and my healing.
Finishing the Fall Semester with LSU Strong
Even through everything concerning work, motherhood, anemia and sickness I am closing out this fall semester with LSU strong. I have remained on top of assignments. I have stayed committed. I have stayed disciplined even when my body did not feel like cooperating in mid-night hours while getting assignments done.
If this month taught me anything, it taught me this:
I can push it to the limit. I can pause when needed. I can rest without giving up. I can choose myself without guilt.
Standing in your strength is not about pretending everything is A1.
Tapping into your inner strength is about doing what you need to do to keep going even if it’s slower, softer, and relaxed than before.
This November, I learned that:
• My health should not ever take the back burner.
• My peace is cherished.
• My boundaries matter.
• My future is still in the works.
• My children will always have a strong mother and once that is committed to healing, not just surviving.
December can bring what it wants. I am ready, rested, and rooted in God and myself.
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