I can hear them snore from their beds as I peek my head into the bedroom. Christmas Eve in my apartment is quiet and yet it feels inviting. It is something about the pause before the morning, the deep breath held in before joy is released. My kids have been under the weather for the past three days with intense fevers. I have been holding it down as I overcame a fever and cold too.
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You see since overcoming the illness I am looking to cherish this Christmas. There is something sacred about this night. In my apartment the lights are dimmed. The Christmas tree lights are bold with warmth. The time is slowed. There is also a reminder that not everything needs to be rushed in order to be meaningful.
Tonight I am journaling from the living room. I am thankful for being able to be in good health, sane, and happy. Seeing the gifts wrapped with love and perfection underneath the tree makes my eyes water. This Christmas is about warmth, familiarity, and presence. The Temptations, ‘Silent Night’ hums from the speakers in the kitchen throughout the apartment. There is an art of comfort that comes from being exactly where we were meant to be. It is also the comfort from the peace that comes from knowing we do not have to be anywhere else. I am letting this evening be simple. Simple feels safe. Simple requires no outstanding effort.
As this is the third year in my apartment, Christmas Eve has taken on a different meaning. It has never been about what is wrapped and how it is wrapped. It has never been about who kissin’ me underneath a mistletoe. It is more about what is heartfelt and priceless. It is about creating a calm that my children can carry into the morning. It is about a sense of security, excitement, and comfort. I want them to remember how the night felt. It will eventually be a blur about what was under the tree.
This season has taught me that joy does not have to be loud to be real or intentional. Joy can live in stillness and not be smothered. Joy can be in the warmth of the soft moments. Joy can be in the souls that are protected and full of intention. Tonight, I am choosing to remain present, grateful, and grounded in what matters most. If you ask me, Christmas Eve does not ask for anything more than that, and neither do I.
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