Let me go ahead and say it, I am too busy providing to be out here proving a damn thing to anybody. I do not have the time, energy, or patience to be performing for validation. All while I am carrying real life responsibilities every day.
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Baby, I
have children to raise. Bills to pay. A household to keep together. Goals I am
trying to reach, and a body I am trying to take better care of. So no, I am not
about to be out here auditioning for anybody’s approval, attention, or half-ass
affection as if I do not already have enough on my plate.
I am not
trying to prove I am desirable. I am not trying to prove I am still “that
girl.” I am not trying to prove I am strong enough. Lovable enough, or worthy
enough to be chosen. Hell, life is already requiring enough from me without me
adding extra pressure to go out and sell myself to the highest shot caller
emotionally.
Social
media will have some people thinking every season is supposed to be about
glowing up, being outside, being boo’d up, and making sure everybody sees that
you are unbothered. Meanwhile, some of us are over here making sure the lights
stay on. We are making sure the kids have what they need. The money is
stretching. Plus, some of us are still making sure our sanity is still halfway
intact. That is the real shit.
Right now,
my focus is provision. My focus is peace. My focus is stacking money. I am getting
ready for the school year. I am staying on top of my health and keeping my life
moving in the direction it needs to go. That is where my energy is going. Not
into proving some damn point to people who are not helping me carry anything
anyway.
Let me be
clear on this note too, just because I am not out here chasing attention does
not mean I have lost anything. It means I know what season I am in. It means I
know that being grounded is more valuable than being seen. It means I would
rather build something solid than waste my good time flexin’ to look impressive
for people who will clap for me and still not lift a damn finger to help.
My worth
is not up for debate. My value is not hanging in balance based on who notices
me, texts, chooses, or validates me. I know who I am. I also know what the hell I am responsible
for. That alone keeps me too busy to be out here playing games with people who
only show up when it is convenient.
So no, I
am not proving shit in this season. I am providing. I am protecting my peace. I
am handling my business. I am taking care of my children, my body, and of the
life I am building. If that does not look exciting enough for somebody else,
that sounds like their damn problem, not mine.
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