September is here, and baby, I am walking into this month with my head lifted. My heart is still soft. My feet are planted firm. August tried me in ways I did not even have words for. Between being a Black woman, a mama of two, keeping up with work, school, bills, responsibilities, and still trying to look myself in the mirror and say,
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“Girl, you better act like you know you got this.” some days felt heavy enough to make me sit on my sofa after work once I toss my backpack to the damn floor and just breathe.
However, look at me. I made it. I may have had to pray
under my breath. I have wipe a few tears, stretched a dollar and a few coins,
love on my littles when I barely had energy left for myself, and keep moving
when nobody saw how tired I damn sho’ was, but I made it.
This month, I am not asking for a perfect life. I am
asking God for peace, provision, protection, discipline, joy, and real progress.
I want this month to be better! I am not just saying this ish because I am
tired of surviving. I am saying this because I know me and my children deserve
to see some light. I want to take better care of myself while still showing up
for my babies. I am also taking into full consideration my education, my
career, and every dream I am building with grace and my own hands.
I am learning that progress do not always come dressed
up pretty. Sometimes progress is paying one more bill and not letting it break
you. Sometimes it is finishing an assignment with glossy eyes and a weary
spirit. Sometimes it is cooking dinner, bathing the kids, cleaning what you
can, and still finding a little corner of the night to script the life you are calling
in. I am scripting too. I am writing down better days and all the goodness that
deserves to come along with it.
Either way, I am an Aquarius woman. Some of you
already know I am going to dream big. I am going to overthink at times and feel
deeply. I think differently and still act like I am fine even when life been
life-ing. I got that soft heart with a stubborn spirit. I can cry, pray, plan,
and spring back up with a brand-new way of handling things before the day is
over. That is me. I am a little unpredictable. However, I am determined and
always believe there is must be more waiting on the other side.
So, September, hear me good na’ I don’t
need to have the whole month figured out tonight. I just need to keep showing
up, believing, loving on my children, and keep choosing myself too.
Here’s to a September that feels lighter. Much sweeter
on my pallet to taste, much stronger, and more blessed than the last. Here is a
toast to doors opening, prayers being answered, money finding me. I am also toasting
to my babies seeing their mama smile more, and my heart finally getting some
room to rest. I am ready for better. I believe better is ready for me too.
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