Baby, forget goblins! One of the scariest things in this life is watching another birthday pull into the driveway while your dreams are still sitting on the porch, waiting on you with a cup of ice water in hand.
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By 35 or 40, a woman can look around and wonder, What
the hell happened to my timeline? The house may not be bought. The business
may still live in a notebook. The career may pay the bills but starve the soul.
Meanwhile, social media keeps serving somebody else’s highlight reel like a
plate you never ordered.
If you feel behind, you are not some lonely failure
hiding in the bushes ‘sha. A 2025 Empower study found that 22% of Americans had
felt behind on financial milestones. This was even though 83% said there is no
set age for reaching life’s big markers. We carry deadlines that most of us do
not even believe in. Isn’t that some craziness for you?
Plus, women are not sitting around doing nothing. In
September 2026, nearly 8 in 10 U.S. women ages 35 to 44 were in the labor
force. That means many of us are working, mothering, caregiving, budgeting and doing
these things while healing. Many of us are trying to build a dream in whatever
scraps of time are left. Slow progress is not the same damn thing as no
progress.
Age is not proof that the door has closed. Sometimes
it is proof that you finally know which door is worth kicking open. Research
housed by the U.S. Census Bureau found that women’s reasons for starting
businesses often include balancing work and family. These are the very
responsibilities that can make a dream take longer can also sharpen the reason
for pursuing it.
So maybe the question is not, Why haven’t I made it
yet? Maybe it is, What can I do next, with the life I actually have?
Not trying to pitch the fantasy life with unlimited money, free childcare,
perfect health, and also adding in no fear. This life. One application. One
class. One honest budget. One uncomfortable phone call. One small move that
tells your future self, “Girl, I did not leave you behind you.”
We should grieve the timeline we pictured. However, we
do not have to build a permanent home inside that grief. Thirty-five is not a
funeral. Forty is not a foreclosure on possibility. A late bloom is still a
bloom, ‘sha! Plus, some of the strongest things grow after a hard season.
The scary part is not getting older with unfinished
dreams. It is letting shame convince you those dreams have expired. The years
are coming either way. The real question is, when the next birthday comes around
will you still be explaining; or will you be building?
References
Empower,
“Big Life Changes” study (2025)
U.S. Bureau of Labor
Statistics, labor-force participation by age and sex
U.S.
Census Bureau, “The Metamorphosis of Women Business Owners: A Focus on Age”
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