I found myself stressed out and wanting to go out for the night and just drink! You read right, I wanted a few shot glasses, Hand Grenades, and a large daiquiri to top that. Drinking wasn't going to solve a thing, but give me the worst headache. I felt like a failure when once I found out from a university that I truly wanted to attend that I couldn't. 

The reason why I couldn't attend the university was, that at the time I didn't have a parent to sign off on my loans. Therefore, I couldn't be a dependent student. I didn't have a parent or family member that truly believed in my dreams during that time. I'm not knocking my mother at all. I just truly felt let down and like a true failure!

All I wanted to be was a full-time college student on the road to getting her degree and becoming a journalist. But, God had other plans for me. I went under severe depression after the news was broken to me. I felt like I wasn't doing enough like the next person who was going to college and becoming something. 

There was no family member there to say, 
"Linda, we are going to help you through this. We see your potential."

I wanted to be the very first person from my immediate family to truly go to a university and graduate with the degree that I knew that I was worth having and achieving. I felt like I was suffering in silence with my frustration and self-hate building bricks to pave a way for me to walk down alone.  That's when I realized that GOD SAID, NO. Guess what? I couldn't be mad.

I could only imagine the huge grin God could have had upon HIS face, while I was preparing myself for failure
I chased failure with blinded eyes. 

God knew that back in 2012 that it wasn't my time. I wouldn't be ready to take on everything that I had planned. But, I sure was trying my hardest to make it my year. Back then, I had it all written out like this:

  • Graduated college by 23 years old.
  • Move out of Louisiana after 
  • Have my Bachelors in Mass Communications
  • Intern at radio stations (and find a radio station to make my home)
  • By 23 be a radio personality
  • Be a published author by 23
You see what I am trying to explain to you is that when God knows when you are ready for it (no matter whatever it is) and how HE will give it to bless you with it, 

Source: genuinementalk 

Here goes a quote by TD Jakes that reads:  
Timing is so important! If you are going to be successful in dance, you must be able to respond to rhythm and timing. It's the same in the Spirit. People who don't understand God's timing can become spiritually spastic, trying to make the right things happen at the wrong time. They don't get His rhythm - and everyone can tell they are out of step. They birth things prematurely, threatening the very lives of their God-given dreams.
This quote speaks volumes to me. I was becoming spiritually spastic about being judged, looked down upon, and being a failure.  People laughed at me behind my back and had smiles on their faces when I told them my problems during that time. 

I'm happy that they laughed back then because I prayed to be where I am at today. 

It has been 4 years since I questioned God's terms for my life back then. Now, I realize that I am still working through God's guidance and progress. I have found the inner strength to accept the past and situations that were out of my control! Have you or are you now still trying to accept the past for the past? Have you or are you now allowing God to order your steps? The road to your dreams and getting them accomplished doesn't just start with an idea. The road to your dreams and getting them accomplished starts with inner peace and strength to be able to give it to God. 

If someone would have told me back then that I would have started an empowerment website at 23, be a YouTuber with a growing audience, and a wife. I probably would have told them, 

"You gotta be trippin' or must be done fell and bumped your head!" 

I am thankful for how my life has turned out so far, since 2012. I am still motivated and inspired to get my degree too! Praising God in advance no matter your circumstance will help you along the way. Chasing failure helped me realized that I had what it take to believe and inspire others to chase their dreams no matter if a door closes. 

Marvin Sapp - Praise Him In Advance 

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