August did not ease in gently. It came in heavy. It got comfortable and sat on my chest, and made me feel every single responsibility I have been carrying. Some months teach you through joy, drive, and new beginnings. This one taught me mainly through exhaustion. There was so much pressure. I whispered prayers.
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Summer has started, and I am not even about to pretend
like I am walking into it all soft, rested, and carefree. I am tired. I am
triggered. I am anxious. But I am still trying to make something good out of it
because what else am I supposed to do? Just stop living? No.
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Baby, let me tell you something I had to learn the hard way. I learned that peace will come a whole lot faster when you stop expecting shit from people, who keep showing you they are not about to help you.
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Hey there, can I just be honest for a little bit? Doing everything by yourself; handling business, keeping the house running, making sure the kids are all right well, it will change you in ways you do not even notice at first.
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Let me tell you that November was a month that in ways pushed me, humbled me, and reminded me of the woman I am becoming. November for me was not a soft month. It was not an easy or carefree month. This month was exhausting, revealing, and necessary. As I take this time to look back, I can say I learned more about myself in these past few weeks than I have in a long time.
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Let’s talk about what happened last weekend. This was on Good Friday night too. I had to take a minute to regroup mentally after this because some folks play for a reaction from you. When they do not get the reaction, they start questioning their own intentions from the jump.
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Being a single mom right now means balancing work and kids. However, I still have to make time for myself in the midst of everything. I have been dedicated to finding reliable child care, especially on weekends. I have came up with a way to still be able to have a life outside of motherhood while working a 9-5 and without help of the co-parent on rotating weekends.
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Hey, there! October was another great month and I decided to put myself first and focus on the things that matter to me. I knew I needed to make some changes to keep my peace intact. I blocked, ghosted, and went along with my business. I set boundaries and created my own space. Let me tell you, it all has been refreshing!
In the aftermath of my divorce, one of the most significant decisions I made was to maintain a strict no-contact policy with my ex-husband. This approach wasn't just about setting boundaries; it is about reclaiming my peace of mind and happiness. This strategy has become one of the most popular topics on my blog, resonating with many of you who are navigating similar paths.
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Being a single mom of two amazing kids is like juggling a million balls in the air—school, homework, cooking, and everything else. It's a whirlwind! But amidst the chaos, I've found my secret sanctuary—those peaceful nights when my little ones are asleep.
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Being a mom is one thing. Being a single mom is another. Even if we had 8 arms the amount of work and parenting responsibilities to managing finances and maintaining a household, the daily grind can often feel overwhelming. But for some of us, the challenges extend beyond the tangible responsibilities. Sometimes mental health struggles like depression and anxiety can try to plague our lives as well.
Being a single mother is a challenging journey in itself, but when you add a full-time job to the mix and multiply it by two children, the challenges can seem insurmountable at times.
Last year during the summertime of 2022, I was in a financial bind while still living with a friend and her family with my two kids. Last year, I paid for a divorce out of pocket with no job, a resume that wasn’t helping me get any work-from-home jobs I applied for, and without a car. I felt helpless.
As you read this, it's almost 1 am. My mind is calm. I am in the queen-size bed with my 4-year-old son and a 10-month-old daughter. I've been looking back over all the decisions I made this month to see how I've treated myself. I just finished journaling.
The morning was calm and was brought in with smiles from both my children. My alarm on my phone went off at 6am, and I immediately thanked God for a new day. I sang "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" to my children before heading into the kitchen to make us breakfast. I was at peace this Christmas.
My kids and I are in our hotel bed the night before Christmas. The day was calm, and the night was peaceful. My mind wandered about how things would be if I had my own? My own job. My own stable income. My own apartment is our house for my children and me. Then I snapped back into reality and reminded myself that it is all on the way!
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| Christmas Eve 2021 |
In my prayers for a healthy pregnancy and delivery for my baby girl, I guess I foolishly forgot to pray for a healthy recovery for myself. Studies over the years have found that African American women are three times more likely to die from preeclampsia, and I didn't think it would affect me.
You must dream bigger and have stronger faith. I wrote those words down in my journal a few days before making the sound decision that I was going to continue with finishing my associate degree in social science from my local community college.
I opened about this very topic on my personal Instagram page in my IG stories. If you would like to follow me over there, then here is the link to direct you. I did not want to go on into a rant about my life as a lonely stay-at-home mom and wife who's also pregnant during this time. I just wanted to open up with my followers and viewers who may not have known that creating genuine “real life” connections with other women is something that I crave.
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| Photo by Mike Von on Unsplash |
Hey, there! The last time we talked about my pregnancy and my baby bump update, I was 22 weeks pregnant. If you missed that, simply click here after finishing this to find out what was happening. I am now 30 weeks pregnant, and of course, that means 10 weeks to go in this third and last trimester of my pregnancy.
