I know firsthand what growing up on government assistance and
even having government assistance in your life to make ends meet. I remember going
to the only grocery store in my parish when I was a child all the way up until
I was a teenager with my mama and auntie to “make groceries.” My mother use to
have two baskets filled with all sorts of food and many of the cashiers who
knew we were poor would laugh at us. Who would have thought that going to a small-town
grocery store to buy groceries could be so damn judgmental?
I resigned from my job as a bank teller officially on Friday,
September 15th, 2017. That entire day I had so many mixed emotions
and yes, many of my mixed emotions came from my pregnancy hormones that I have
been trying to keep at bay. Those mixed emotions were happiness, uneasiness,
anxiousness, and sadness. I found excitement within doing my makeup and getting
ready for what was truly going to be my last day on my job. Of course, if you
have been an avid reader of mines for some time now you would know that I truly
disliked my job with a passion around this same time last year.
When I found out I was pregnant in the month of February and
just days before Mardi Gras I was in shock. Immediately my husband was saying
all throughout our one-bedroom apartment, “I knew it! I knew it.”
All while I was simply standing in our bathroom mirror holding up the pregnancy test constantly saying, “Oh my God.” I was in shock! Well, I knew that the possibility of me finally getting pregnant was going to happen eventually.
My hubby and I were very much bedroom lovers and excited to keep trying new things. Moving along from that topic, I just did not think that we were going to end up becoming expecting parents for this year.
All while I was simply standing in our bathroom mirror holding up the pregnancy test constantly saying, “Oh my God.” I was in shock! Well, I knew that the possibility of me finally getting pregnant was going to happen eventually.
My hubby and I were very much bedroom lovers and excited to keep trying new things. Moving along from that topic, I just did not think that we were going to end up becoming expecting parents for this year.
I took a well needed and deserved trip back home this past
Sunday. My hubby and I enjoyed our time on the road just as much as our overall
time spent with family. It has been well-over two years since I have revisited
my immediate family and my home town. People sometimes ask me what keeps me
away for so long before returning? My answer to them would be pain. The pain
that I decided to keep within the past to move forward. The pain that hindered
me from believing that I had a true purpose in this life to fulfill. The pain
that so many people caused me.



