Let me lay it out, just as handwashed clothes with Ivory soap were placed on a clothesline to dry on a warm summer’s day. For years, I carried this quiet pressured weight wondering if tying the knot at 20 meant I was falling behind. Never spoke about it out loud. I let the thought settle deep. Often it showed up every time I caught myself measuring my life against somebody else’s highlight reel.

Waiting to be chosen again...was never the plan.

This year, before my birthday came around, I did not sit my ass down waiting for some dude to promise me forever. Nah, my girl, I made that promise to myself. Real talk, I went and slid a ring on my own finger. It is crazy ‘cause I have not sported a ring on my ring finger that meant something since the fall of 2022. This time around I wanted to purchase an engagement ring. Not ‘cause I was pressed to be chosen or lonely. 

I see you stopped by. It is good that you are here. See, I wanted to share something personal that’s been brewing for a while. Brewing like dark roast espresso beans on a slow-paced Sunday morning. A Sunday morning when it feels like all you have is peace in the light of the day. You know how sometimes a small online shift can spark real change? Well, after months of consideration, I finally decided to update my Instagram handle to reflect my maiden name.

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I want to share something real with you. There was a time in my life when every boundary I tried to set felt like it needed a whole story. It was as if I had to justify my feelings or decisions with paragraphs of explanation. I used to think that if I verbally made myself clear enough, people would understand, and respect me and my mind. However, here is the thing I did not see back then was the folks who benefited from me not having boundaries? They are not confused when you finally set them. What happens is that they are annoyed. They get flustered because it is no longer as convenient for them.