For a long time, driving felt impossible because I had already learned how to build my whole life around not doing it. All I knew was keeping enough money to give somebody gas, catching the RTA bus, ordering an Uber, or walking if the distance looked manageable.
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I knew I was done when asking for a second date started feeling like I was begging for basic effort.
Not groceries. Not money. Not a grand romantic
gesture. I am talking about a day, time, a plan, and enough intention to show
me I was not the only one trying to keep the connection alive.
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Honey, let me tell you, April wasn’t here to play with me, not a damn bit. It hit me with the kind of pressure and force that will make you move differently whether you are ready or not. Look, I did not pop up on my blog much last month.
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Hey, Sha. Let's sit back and talk, 'cause there's somethin' I just gotta share with ya’, somethin' that’s changed my whole peace of mind. I wanted to touch on how I do not argue anymore. Now, do not be thinkin' I am under someone’s control or a cat got my tongue or anything. Lord knows I still have plenty to say. I am not a weak or scared chick, bless your heart. Nah, the truth is, that it took me some time, but I have learned a valuable lesson about what arguing really is. It is for folks who still think if they just explain it one more time, they will somehow be understood.
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Down here in Louisiana, I have learned not to waste my breath trying to drag folks where they don’t wanna go. Here are a few things that I have learned in the month of January to carry me along the way for this year in no order.
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Let me lay it out, just as handwashed clothes with Ivory soap were placed on a clothesline to dry on a warm summer’s day. For years, I carried this quiet pressured weight wondering if tying the knot at 20 meant I was falling behind. Never spoke about it out loud. I let the thought settle deep. Often it showed up every time I caught myself measuring my life against somebody else’s highlight reel.
Waiting to be chosen again...was never the plan.
This year, before my birthday came around, I did not sit my ass down waiting for some dude to promise me forever. Nah, my girl, I made that promise to myself. Real talk, I went and slid a ring on my own finger. It is crazy ‘cause I have not sported a ring on my ring finger that meant something since the fall of 2022. This time around I wanted to purchase an engagement ring. Not ‘cause I was pressed to be chosen or lonely.
