She’s still here. My mama. It makes me so emotional to type this and say it out loud. Growing up, my mama gave me a lot of tough love. I didn’t get many hugs, kisses, or motherly affection. I also didn’t have a father figure in my life and witnessed how it molded my mother mentally and emotionally. After almost 29 years, I still have her, and I’m thankful. Today is her birthday, and by God’s grace, she’s still in good health. When I separated from my spouse last year, my mama had my back. 

It’s been officially three months since my spouse and I separated. I still congratulate myself for having the strength to leave. I have made it through some of my darkest days during these past three months. 

Healing from the trauma, my eight-year marriage caused me left me some nights of tear-stained pillows. I cried at 12am New Year Day as I heard fireworks go off from my hotel room. Eli and Alina were asleep in bed as I stood with the window slightly opened, holding onto one of the cream beige curtains. I made it to 2022 without him physically with or around me. Him being my husband. After spending damn near 9 years of welcoming in the New Year with him, 

Photo by Alonso Reyes on Unsplash

Book an Uber and go! That's what I've been doing with my children. I have been taking my kids with me to see the city and have fun more than my spouse ever did. Before I had Alina, I was stuck inside with Eli throughout the week. The furthest I would go with my son was around the neighborhood blocks we lived in while he rode his bike on the sidewalk.