At the beginning of 2020, I started overeating shortly after my 27th birthday in late January. I started giving in to many of my cravings and over-snacking while studying for my college classes. The more I gave in, the more noticeable my energy levels decreased, my breathing was heavy, and so was my menstrual cycle. What made me want to lose weight was my urge and burning desire to feel better.

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I don't know what hurts worse seeing my mother for the first time in almost two years see her grandson and seeing her eyes filled with tears. Or seeing my mother looking ill and not being able to fully grasp if she knows that she has a serious underlying health issue that needs to be treated immediately. Today I cried a painful cry filled with so much pain once I made it home from seeing both my mother and uncle Louis.

Step your ass away from the scale! That's what I always tell myself after feeling like I may have gained weight, I'm bloated, or felt as if I need to know just because.

I would have never thought I have taken the time to think about how life would be different if I wasn't the oldest child of my mother's three children. If you are the oldest of your siblings, then you can possibly relate the amount of stress, comparison, or even envy there can be when you are the oldest one. 

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