As you read this, I am still in a hotel room in Baton Rouge. It's almost 10pm. Both Eli and Alina have been resting peacefully for about two hours. I have watched a Netflix movie, showered, and practiced some self-care. Today was a smooth day. I remained inside with the kids all day and have plans on getting out and about tomorrow. 

The morning was calm and was brought in with smiles from both my children. My alarm on my phone went off at 6am, and I immediately thanked God for a new day. I sang "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" to my children before heading into the kitchen to make us breakfast. I was at peace this Christmas. 

My kids and I are in our hotel bed the night before Christmas. The day was calm, and the night was peaceful. My mind wandered about how things would be if I had my own? My own job. My own stable income. My own apartment is our house for my children and me. Then I snapped back into reality and reminded myself that it is all on the way! 

Christmas Eve 2021

When I left my hometown a week ago with my son and daughter, I promised not to go back to live. I spent one week in my auntie’s trailer praying and not losing hope. My kids and I slept on a cot in a small walk-in closet-like room surrounded by our belongings. I would curl my body into an S position for my son to sleep behind my daughter and me to nurse throughout the night. 

early morning selfie

I swatted away mosquitos and fanned my children with a piece of cardboard to ease their night sweats. For the past two months, my son has been trying to adjust to every hotel room and routine we created to survive.