17 weeks and 4 days

I understood since I was old enough to attend pre-school that I had come from a poor family. I was uniquely different in ways that made me an easy target to be bullied and teased. As time passed, the bulling only had gotten worse. It was difficult for me to make friends in my small town.

Where I am from people judge you by where you stay, who you kin too, and for how your people live. Since, I lived in a shack that I called my home, a lot of girls did choose to distance themselves away from someone like me. The message was always clear. My mother did not have an education, to talk about. She could not read or write. All my mama knew was hustling.

It’s a Monday through Saturday routine of hiding my head behind my computer monitor while asking a random customer how may I help them. Then sometimes follow up by sending them out the drive through tube with the slip or blank check that they desire. After that action, I seep back down into my chair and try to best position myself behind the computer monitor, mainly because folks serve me nasty, impatient, and threatening looks majority of the time. I’ll say 95% of the time in a week span. I swear if looks could really kill, I would have been laid out in my very own blood behind the bullet proof glass in the drive through window.


One thing about me, I am a very social person. If you were to see me at my part-time job, you probably would not even guess it! I love interacting with people from all sorts of walks of life, however when I get to work I just feel like I am less than who I truly am. I don’t make my standard referrals for the quarter. If you don’t know what that means, basically I don’t get any checking or savings accounts open or even credit cards.

My job title every week just dangles in my face hanging from a piece of thread. If you know anything about the banking field then you probably would know that if you can not sell you won't keep a job. I mute out my weakness on the job by interacting with my co-workers on a daily basics. Interacting with them keeps my mind off the competitive atmosphere we strive to do our best in. I find myself being nervous at times to take customers.

You would think of almost nine months on the job I would be comfortable, but I am not. I believe that my true feelings show especially when I make eye contact with the customers. I’m still grasping onto the reasons and the meanings as to why God took me from working as a gas station associate to becoming a bank teller.

To be honest, I doubted that I would ever land a banking job in my life. That’s since, I truly dislike math with a passion. I never questioned my walk with Christ this far. Being judged for walking to work, because I have yet to have a car, but a driver’s license is one thing. Being judged for your walk with Christ on a daily stride is another. Before, I even discovered that I was pregnant or even had a thought I was I knew in my heart that this year was going to be a year of change. This year was going to be my last year in the banking field and at my current job.

This year, was going to truly bring out something special that is with stored within me. Well, my friend, this year I am going to step out on faith. I am going to become a mother for the very first time. I am going to pursue my writing career and build my brand during it all. I will step away for maternity leave from my part time job and I won’t look back. You see I am not a random black girl with natural hair and works as a bank teller.

 I am an empowering and highly motivated black woman who is still chasing her dreams no matter her circumstances. I am thankful for having the opportunity to experience being a bank teller and I am going to be forever thankful. Jesus is still laying the ground work for me and guess what, the plans that He has for my life shall be amazing. I am on the road to still discovering my inner strength one step at a time.

What's roaming through your mind? I hope that I gave you more than just a little something to think about or talk about.

Does your man make you feel insecure about yourself? I am here to encourage you and let you know that you do not have to suffer in silence. I truly understand how difficult it may be to reach out and talk to another woman about your current insecurities that are being sparked from your relationship or marriage. As you continue to read this blog post, I am going to give you a few reasons why your man is probably making you feel insecure. Are you ready? Let’s go.

Dear Baby Hurd,

To make a long story short, I needed to use this post to vent. To just pour out the thoughts and raging emotions within me. For the month of May, I am going to focus more on tacking on my inner strengths and weaknesses. I spent most of the month of April mentally searching and thawing through my past.