I see you stopped by. It is good that you are here. See, I wanted to share something personal that’s been brewing for a while. Brewing like dark roast espresso beans on a slow-paced Sunday morning. A Sunday morning when it feels like all you have is peace in the light of the day. You know how sometimes a small online shift can spark real change? Well, after months of consideration, I finally decided to update my Instagram handle to reflect my maiden name.

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I want to share something real with you. There was a time in my life when every boundary I tried to set felt like it needed a whole story. It was as if I had to justify my feelings or decisions with paragraphs of explanation. I used to think that if I verbally made myself clear enough, people would understand, and respect me and my mind. However, here is the thing I did not see back then was the folks who benefited from me not having boundaries? They are not confused when you finally set them. What happens is that they are annoyed. They get flustered because it is no longer as convenient for them.

There is no need to sink into January begging God to shift everything for you. For me I am not entering this year in a hopeful or fragile way. I am entering it rooted. Steady. Clear. For you, my reader She’s Found Strength is not only a blog title anymore. My blog is a lived experience. This year does not begin with resolutions scribbled down in pencil. It begins with boundaries written in ink. 

Imagine a dating culture conquered by snakes, no constant stimulation and sexual bravado. Can it get worse? Well, let’s add performative confidence and no emotional depth. This is the awful reality that many people have faced within the status of dating, and it has become almost unrecognizable. Of times, attention is mistaken for intention. 

How Hypersexual Music and Culture Shape Who Gets Chosen, and Who Gets Ignored

Shake, shimmy, twerk, or pop that thang! When it comes to dating in Southeast Louisiana it exists at the intersection of culture, rhythm, and spectacle. Hypersexual music does not play lowly in the background here. Hypersexual music socializes here. 

 I can hear them snore from their beds as I peek my head into the bedroom. Christmas Eve in my apartment is quiet and yet it feels inviting. It is something about the pause before the morning, the deep breath held in before joy is released. My kids have been under the weather for the past three days with intense fevers. I have been holding it down as I overcame a fever and cold too. 

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Christmas Eve during the day feels chill. I have been counting down the days until Christmas break from work and school for weeks. I am blessed to say that this countdown has been worth it. The hours seem to have been moving slower this morning. The air feels lighter and less chill, but the fog seems to be cradling the area. The sounds of the busy highway carries a quiet sense of anticipation. There seems to be this in-between, but not yet the celebration, but full of meaning all the same vibe. 

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I did not enter this next season trying to get belts for being one of God’s strongest soldiers. I entered into this season trying to become more protected. After everything I had no choice but to release this year. I had to decide what was worth guarding and what no longer deserved access to me.

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People have been asking me, “Lynn, will you have your kids this Christmas?” According to the rotation, this was supposed to be their dad’s holiday. However, this year, my kids will be with me. I am not giving into the feeling of  the need to explain every detail or defend how it happened. I am choosing to sit with what is and what it will be, which is quiet and we will enjoy the priceless gift of togetherness.

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Lessons have been well learned for me and my emotional ass especially before my cycle came. I have learned this month to stop expecting and having expectations for certain people to show up the way I would have for them. Being a writer, I love character development. I develop traits for people I interact with during the week and month in my mind as I study them. December had a way of slowing me down and not just when it came to fighting for my immune system. This month was forcing me to pay attention to patterns. Patterns that had been ignored for far too long.

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Let me tell you this; my Monday went fine. I got up, by God’s grace. I got myself together. I went to work determined to make it a productive day. I had no clue I was walking straight into a storm that someone else created. However,  I handled it with a level of strength I did not even know I still had.

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I was excited ASF the evening I sat down at my dining room table to create my 2025 vision board. I was doing it all from my phone after watching a motivational YouTube video. I wanted to high-step into new opportunities. I was determined to experience financial growth. I was looking forward to embracing more of my motherhood journey. Gain more stability. I wanted to bask in soft life energy. 

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December often feels a little all over the place, yet this year I’ve decided to make sense of this holiday season. After everything 2025 put me through I wanted to bring light it all. The lessons. The heaviness. The exhaustion. The wins. The breakthroughs. The quiet nights I had to hold myself together. I wanted this year to end gently. Intentionally. Softly. I wanted to bask in gratitude for the woman I’ve grown into.

Have you been reflecting on this year yet? Well, I damn sure have. This year had weeks that pushed me, stretched me, and humbled me. I still somehow managed to understand and value the blessing within the lessons in ways I did not expect. When I sat down on Canva to create this 2025 mood board, I had R&B music playing from Spotify. 

My goodness this year is almost gone, I have been reflecting deeply on what I’m leaving behind in 2025. I am focused on what I will be carrying forward with me. This year taught me difficult lessons about my health, my strength, and my peace. The importance of protecting myself on every level is at the forefront. I am leaving behind the version of me who kept pushing through pain.

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Let me tell you that November was a month that in ways pushed me, humbled me, and reminded me of the woman I am becoming. November for me was not a soft month. It was not an easy or carefree month. This month was exhausting, revealing, and necessary. As I take this time to look back, I can say I learned more about myself in these past few weeks than I have in a long time.

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You do not know this, but that’s why I wanted to share this with you. Just you. So, there is this little story sitting in my Google Drive right now that I poured time, sweated my edges out from revamping, and my late-night energy into. A novella.

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Let me be real for a second.

Lately, it feels like my life has turned into a show I didn’t audition for. I don’t even know the network, but somehow a lot of folks pulled up a front-row seat. People who never checked for me before suddenly watching my every move. People who once talked down to me now are scrolling through my page to make sure they did not miss a post. Folks popping up, lurking, and watching curiously.

It’s almost funny how peace makes you more noticeable than commotion ever did.

I do not know why this is happening, but there is a shift. A shift is happening in my life right now, and I didn’t expect it. I welcome it though.

You see I have been minding my business. Raising my kids. Going to work. Focusing on school. Plus, I have protected my peace at all costs. This has all been my whole vibe for 2025. I am talking about discipline over drama.  

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This Halloween season, I have made the sound decision that I am not dressing up. I am laying some versions of myself to rest.

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